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Thoughts on the Parsha ~
Parshas Chayei
Sarah
Out of the Foxhole and Into the Parking Spot
By:
Daniel Listhaus
אֲדֹנִי אָנֹכִי בַּדֶּרֶךְ נָחַנִי ה' בֵּית אֲחֵי אֲדֹנִי:
“And the
man bowed low and prostrated himself to Hashem. He said, ‘Blessed is Hashem,
G-d of my master Avraham, Who has not withheld His kindness and truth from my
master; as for me, Hashem has guided me in the way to the house of my master’s
brothers.”
-Chayei Sarah 24:26-27
Avraham
sent his servant, Eliezer, to find a wife for Yitzchak. If we stop to think
about it, Eliezer truly had a great responsibility. Avraham trusted that
Eliezer would not just find the proper wife for Yitzchak, but the proper matriarch
for B’nei Yisroel. There is no doubt that the trust that Avraham had in
Eliezer was developed over their many years together and Eliezer becoming a
great person from spending time in Avraham avinu’s house.[1] Eliezer
recognized the importance of his assignment and understood that the only way he
could carry it out successfully was to daven to Hashem to help him find
the right person. The passukim (verses) describe in detail the tefillos
that Eliezer davened to Hashem to give him a sign when he would
cross paths with the right wife for Yitzchak. Not only does the Torah mention
Eliezer’s tefillos, but it expresses that the story line played out
exactly as he davened and then repeats the whole episode again when
Eliezer told it over to Lavan and Besuel in their house. Rashi[2] points the
repetitiveness and says in the name of Rebbe Acha that the conversation
of the slaves of the avos (patriarchs) is more pleasing before Hashem
than the Torah of their descendants; for the episode of Eliezer is repeated
expressly in the Torah, while many essential elements of the Torah were given
only by allusion.” Indeed the middos and mehalech in life that we
learn for generations is based on the interactions and ma’aseh avos siman
l’banim from the avos themselves. It is as essential as the halachos
of the Torah, in fact derech eretz kadmah l’torah, and is an
essential part of Torah shel ba’al peh – mishnayos Avos.
Tefillah
is something which is part of every Jew’s daily routine. We daven three
times a day representing the tefillos implemented by the Avos[3] and
although over the years we have accepted a universal structure to the davening,
there is no question that personal prayers and requests are not just
proper, but arguably required, throughout the day as we humble ourselves before
Hashem and recognize that we are nothing without his constant help. The
realization that we need Hashem to help us is one which, for many, comes and
goes. The saying goes that there is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole,
but sadly the underlying meaning of that aphorism often extends to even the
most religious. The Torah itself describes the difficulty man has of
recognizing G-d’s involvement in one’s personal life when one achieves success
through means which seem natural. As people we are programmed to recognize
pattern, and the pattern of cause and effect is one that was built into the briyah
(creation) as a guide but could also be misleading to the one who does not
stop to think hard of what the real causes and effects are. However, even those
who do take time out of their day to stop and personally ask Hashem for help
with their day, and even those who stop to take the time to ask Hashem for help
even for the things which we think we are “capable” of doing on our “own”,
there is something which is often forgotten – saying thank you.
There is a
joke told of a man who is running late to an important meeting. When he reaches
the office he cannot find an open parking spot. In desperation he davens
to Hashem and says, “Hashem please give me a parking spot; and if You give me a
parking spot I promise that I will be a better person.” Suddenly, a spot opens
up right in front of him. He races over and takes the spot proudly. After
putting his car in park, exiting his car and locking the doors, he looks up and
says, “Never mind, I found one myself!”
Even the
times we remember that G-d is in charge and are able to humble ourselves to ask
for His assistance, we often forget to turn back and say thank you to Hashem
when we recognize our tefillos were accepted. Instead, like the man
looking for the parking spot, the approach of many is to say, “I’m glad things
worked out, because Hashem would have probably taken a long time to return my
call”.
The
episode of Eliezer finding a wife for Yitzchak is remarkable on many accounts.
However, one of the points that often goes unnoticed is the fact that at every
opportunity along the way Eliezer takes the time to reflect and give thanks to
Hashem for helping him and answering his tefillos. After Rivkah offered
to get water for Eliezer and his camels and Eliezer realized that she was the
right wife for Yitzchak, the passuk writes that he bowed and gave thanks
to Hashem. Even when Eliezer recounted the series of events leading to his
meeting Rivkah, he included the fact that he thanked Hashem as an integral part
of the storyline. A few passukim later after Lavan and Besuel agree to
Eliezer’s proposal to bring Rivkah back to Yitzchak as a wide, Eliezer again
bowed to Hashem over hearing the good news. Davening always yields
results, even when we do not merit to experience the outcome ourselves. However
certainly when we do perhaps even when we don’t, it demands a sense of gratitude.
Modim is part of the core structure
of tefillah.
If these
were the middos of eved Avraham we could only imagine how great
our forefather Avraham was with his deep understanding of Hashem being Creator,
Master and Director of the world. This is not a theme tied to a specific day
but rather one which is timeless and constant. We must learn from this parsha
our responsibility to not only turn to Hashem and depend on Him completely
to help us through life but also to remember to turn back and say thank you.
May Hashem
help us all and guide us accordingly through our lives and provide us with all
our needs as a k’lal and as individuals. Thank you, Hashem, for all that
You have done for us, all that You do for us, and all that we have faith that
You will continue to do for all of K’lal Yisroel!
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