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Thoughts on the Parsha ~
Parshas
Balak
All Lives Matter
By:
Daniel Listhaus
וַיֹּאמֶר אֵלָיו מַלְאַךְ ה' עַל מָה הִכִּיתָ אֶת אֲתֹנְךָ זֶה שָׁלוֹשׁ רְגָלִים הִנֵּה
אָנֹכִי יָצָאתִי לְשָׂטָן כִּי יָרַט הַדֶּרֶךְ לְנֶגְדִּי: וַתִּרְאַנִי הָאָתוֹן וַתֵּט לְפָנַי זֶה שָׁלשׁ רְגָלִים
אוּלַי נָטְתָה מִפָּנַי כִּי עַתָּה גַּם אֹתְכָה הָרַגְתִּי וְאוֹתָהּ
הֶחֱיֵיתִי:
“The angel
of Hashem said to him, ‘For what reason did you strike the she-donkey three
these three times? Behold! I went out as an impediment, for he hastened on the
road, against me. The she-donkey saw me and turned away from me these three
times. Had she not turned away frim me I would now even have killed you and let
her live.’”
-Bamidbar 22:32-33
The mishna
in Avos[1]
states that one of the last things created just before Shabbos during
bein hashmashos was the mouth of Billam’s donkey. When Billam’s donkey
spoke to him it was not really a new miracle that was taking place but rather
an anomaly kicking in that was already set from the original week of creation.
From a logical standpoint Billam’s donkey talking was no less spectacular
than the sun rising each morning. Both were created during the sheishes
y’mei beraishis, one just happens to occur more often. As a matter of fact,
although “miracle” is a word we often use to refer to such anomalies, truth of
the matter is that everything is a miracle. Everything in this world was
created and constantly continues to be willed into existence by Hashem Himself.
Any dampening of the feeling of “Wow!” that one gets the first time one stops
to think about something is merely a human failure to maintain excitement over
something which one has become accustomed to. For example, being awed by the
micro-wiring of the human eye to the brain which achieves a high definition
vision equivalent to over 576 megapixels, lasts a few seconds until we recall
that it is common among mankind and always available to us. The hard part to
keep in mind is that despite our numbness to its complexity, it objectively
remains incredible. This is similar to a game which becomes boring to a user
over time, even though the truth is that, objectively, the game itself did not
become more boring and if there would be someone else who never played it
before it would remain just as exciting as it was to the other when he opened it
for the first time. The open expression of Hashem conducting the world is
something which should have been obvious to Billam and should have
served as a wake-up call; but alas, it did not. Billam should have realized
that Hashem controls the world and is involved in its daily activities. He
should have understood that just as his talking donkey was perceived as an anomaly
even though it was created during beraishis, so too everything is a neis
(miracle) and that it is only because of Hashem’s constant and continuous will
to keep the world in motion that it does so. Yet, this message did not get
through and Billam continued on his mission from Balak to curse the b’nei
Yisroel.
When the
donkey saw the malach Hashem standing in front of it with a sword drawn
in his hand, it stopped dead in its tracks. Billam did not see the malach
and therefore did not understand his donkey’s weird behavior; nor did he
take the time to think about what was happening. Instead, he repeatedly hit his
donkey thinking that it just needed some discipline to keep moving. His donkey
then spoke and rebuked Billam saying how unintelligent he must be for not
considering the fact that something must be going on that he did not realize if
his usually loyal and obedient donkey was acting unusual. The passuk (verse)[2] continues
to relate that Billam responded by saying that if he had a sword in his
hand he would kill the donkey. After all, as Rashi[3] explains,
this episode was extremely humiliating for Billam. He was traveling with
a whole entourage of Balak’s royal officers and was just “told off” by his
donkey. Even his threatening to kill the donkey became the subject of mocking Billam
as the officers teased that Billam had intended to kill a whole nation with
his mouth and yet for his donkey he needs a sword!
After the
short back and forth conversation between Billam and his donkey, Hashem
uncovered Billam’s eyes and allowed him to see the malach standing
there with the threatening sword drawn in his hands. The malach questioned
Billam asking him why he hit his donkey three times, and then told him that had
they kept going, the malach would have killed Billam and let the donkey
live.
Rashi[4] infers
from the passuk that since the donkey had succeeded in coming to a halt
before going through the malach’s blade, Billam’s life was saved but the
donkey was now killed. This inference requires an explanation because there is
no reason that the donkey should have been collateral damage. The donkey did nothing wrong that would make
it deserve to be killed, so why was the donkey killed? Rashi explains that
since the donkey rebuked Billam and he was unable to respond, the malach
killed the donkey so that people should not see it in the future and be
constantly reminded of the event and say that this was the donkey which rebuked
Billam and he was unable to respond. Rashi concludes that we see from
here the incredible pity that Hashem has on people’s dignity.
This Rashi
is hard to comprehend. Billam was a “gift” given to the goyim[5] as an
equivalent to Moshe rabbeinu. He had the potential not only to become
great himself and close to Hashem, but to lift up the nations as well. Yet, he
did worse than not tapping into that potential, he misused it. He went to curse
B’nei Yisroel! He was a bona fide rasha. Not only turning out as
the opposite of Moshe rabbeinu, but as the mishna[6] states,
the antithesis of Avraham avinu as well. Billam had an evil
heart, was haughty, and chased after his heart’s desires. We should be
questioning whether Billam remains fit to stay in the category of human,
not whether we should be concerned with his dignity. Moreover, it was at a
cost. His donkey was killed for his dignity.[7] Is Billam’s
dignity worth even that much?
Furthermore,
if we take a moment to reflect on all the horrors that have taken place
throughout history and all the terrors that occur around the world presently,
and combine all that with the numerous difficulties and challenges that we go
through in our own lives, the question becomes exponentially more perplexing.
Is Billam’s dignity worth more than lives taken in a terrorist attack? Is
Billam’s dignity more valuable than the future of k’lal Yisroel? Is
Billam’s dignity worth more than solving domestic issues for the sake of
children? How could we understand this Rashi pointing out this example
as a classic case of Hashem’s mercy? There is so much horror and sadness in the
world! Who cares that Hashem had pity on Billam’s dignity?
In order
to approach this Rashi we must first humbly accept the fact that we are
mere humans and that even with our brains working at full capacity we are
limited to the human system confined by time and space and other limitations
which Hashem put into place for our system. We most also accept the fact that
indeed Hashem is keil rachum v’chanun. In fact all of Hashem’s middos
are referred to as the yud-gimmel middos ha’rachamim – the thirteen
attributes of mercy. Hashem’s core middah – so to speak – is rachamim.
Whenever we witness terror, experience horror, or go through hardships we have
two options. We could blame Hashem and call Him unmerciful or we could humbly
accept that in some way Hashem’s mercy is expressing itself and that we are
just either at fault for not noticing, not worthy enough to see it, or simply incapable
of understanding it. Hashem is the borei u’manhig of the world and
orchestrates all of its activities. Each person receives perfectly what is
meant for him or her at any particular point in time. Every cause and effect
has a design and a reason whether we understand it or not. We must always bear
in mind that Hashem’s middah is rachamim and that He is rachamav
al kol ma’asuv[8].
We might have our own expectations or personal agendas or beliefs which
prevent us from seeing things objectively, which even is itself limited to human
capacity, but ultimately everything Hashem does for us is for the best.
Perhaps
this is the profound lesson that Rashi here is teaching. Hashem’s rachamim
extends to every person and everything in the universe. Even Billam ha’rasha
is looked after in the sense that he will get the punishment he deserves
and not more. If Billam is not supposed to get dishonored past a certain
amount, then indeed it is worth everything to make sure it does not happen.
Hashem’s ways are just and Hashem’s ways are merciful. If we see that Hashem
shows mercy even to Billam ha’rasha then certainly He does so for us as
well. We may not see it, we may not understand it but we can be assured that
Hashem is the borei u’manhig and that He runs a perfect world – designed
to hold the flexibility of human bechira while at the same time the exactness
of what people deserve. This is the intricacy of His involvement. An infinite
amount of permutations and calculations are taken into account to perfectly
balance everyone’s needs – something way beyond human comprehension.
There is
no way that we can point to events and say that Hashem has acted unmercifully.
It simply cannot be. Rather our perspective must be that what was done was done
so with the middah of rachamim even though we may never see the
full picture to appreciate it. We could choose to point fingers and blame or we
could stand up to the problems that affect the world at large, the struggles in
our communities, and the challenges that we are faced with as individuals and
accept them with the confidence and knowledge that Hashem’s rachamim presented
us with them, and even though we do not and cannot understand it we will do our
best to conquer those challenges. If Hashem has pity on Billam’s dignity – a person
who was told off by his donkey on the way to curse B’nei Yisroel, then
there is no doubt a tremendous amount of rachamim that He shows us even
though we do not necessarily notice.
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