Parshas Vayeitzei - Truth Be Told

Parshas Vayeitzei

Truth Be Told

By: Daniel Listhaus

וְלָבָן הָלַךְ לִגְזֹז אֶת צֹאנוֹ וַתִּגְנֹב רָחֵל אֶת הַתְּרָפִים אֲשֶׁר לְאָבִיהָ: וַיִּגְנֹב יַעֲקֹב אֶת לֵב לָבָן הָאֲרַמִּי עַל בְּלִי הִגִּיד לוֹ כִּי בֹרֵחַ הוּא

“Lavan had gone to shear his sheep, and Rachel stole the teraphim that belonged to her father. Yaakov deceived Lavan the Aramean by not telling him that he was fleeing”

-Vayeitzei 31:19-20

In this week's parsha, we continue to follow Yaakov around and learn from his middos (traits) and qualities. We were introduced to Yaakov avinu in parshas Toldos as the “ish tam yosheiv ohalim”¹ - the wholesome man who sat and learned Torah. Rashi² further describes Yaakov as a person who was real – someone who the way he acted and spoke purely reflected who he was. After learning these things and getting a glimpse of Yaakov's character, a few of the events in this week's parsha should come as a surprise to us.

When Yaakov reached his destination near Charan, the Torah relates that Yaakov approached a well and saw that there was a crowd of shepherds standing around doing nothing. Yaakov approached them and said, “Look, the day is still long; it is not yet time to bring the livestock in; water the flock and go on grazing”.³ Rashi⁴ explains that Yaakov got upset at them and started giving them mussar (rebuke), “Look, the day is still long. If you are hired workers, then you have not yet completed the day's labor; and if the animals are yours, nonetheless, it is not yet time to bring in the livestock.”

Who did Yaakov think he was? He was a total stranger in a foreign land. Yet, Yaakov felt completely comfortable approaching the shepherds and telling them that he caught them stealing. If they are paid workers, then, by doing nothing, they are stealing from their employers. Even if the animals are theirs, they are still no better because they are wasting time – stealing from themselves. Why did Yaakov think that it was his business to tell the shepherds that they are no better than thieves?

Later in the parsha, there are an additional two episodes during which Yaakov seems to lose his temper. During his stay in Charan, Yaakov lived in Lavan's house. His stay by his uncle was anything but pleasant. Lavan was a selfish trickster with ulterior motives for everything he said and did. After being tricked into marrying Leah and being deceived many times over his wages, Hashem came to Yaakov and told him to return to Yitzchak's house. In response to this, Yaakov called to his wives and started ranting:

“I have noticed your father's disposition is not toward me as in earlier days; but the G-d of my father was with me. Now you have known that with all my might I worked for your father, yet your father mocked me and changed my wage ten countings; but G-d did not permit him to harm me. If he would say, 'Speckled one shall be your wages', then the entire flock bore speckled ones; and if he would say, 'Ringed ones shall be your wages', then the entire flock bore ringed ones. Thus G-d took away your father's livestock, and gave them to me. It happened at the mating time of the flock that I raised my eyes and saw in a dream – Behold! The he-goats that mounted the flock were ringed, speckled, and striped. And an angel of G-d said to me in a dream, 'Yaakov!' And I said, 'Here I am.' And he said, 'Raise your eyes, if you please, and see that all the he-goats mounting the flocks are ringed, speckled, and striped, for I have seen all that Lavan is doing to you. I am G-d of Beis-Keil where you anointed a pillar, where you vowed a vow to Me. Now – arise, leave this land and return to the land of your birth.'”⁵

What set Yaakov off to give this whole speech to Rachel and Leah? Is Yaakov complaining? What purpose is he accomplishing with this? Let Yaakov just tell them to pack their bags because Hashem told him to go back home. Why does Yaakov need to give his own personal reason to leave, that he is fed up with Lavan's dishonesty?

There is yet another time when Yaakov seems to lose his cool. Yaakov and his family had already been running away for a week when Lavan caught up to them. After yelling at Yaakov for running away, he accused him of stealing his idols. Yaakov patiently let Lavan check through all of their belongings for his idols. When Lavan finished rummaging through everything and did not find the idols, Yaakov became furious at Lavan. Once again, Yaakov pulls out his speech and starts screaming at Lavan:

“What is my transgression? What is my sin, that you have pursued me? When you rummaged through all my things, what did you find of all your household objects? Set it here before my brethren and your brethren, and let them decide between the two of us. These twenty years I have been with you. Your ewes and she-goats did not miscarry, nor did I eat the rams of your flock. That which was mangled I never brought to you – I would bear the loss, from my hand you would exact it, stolen by day or stolen by night. This is how I was: By day heat consumed me, and snow by night; my sleep drifted from my eyes. This is for me twenty years in your household: I worked for you fourteen years for your two daughters, and six years for your flocks; and you changed my wage ten countings. Had not the G-d of my father – the G-d of Avraham and the Dread of Yitzchak – been with me, you would surely have now sent me away empty handed. G-d saw my wretchedness and the toil of my hands....”⁶

Here again, Yaakov is getting all emotional and angry, pointing out Lavan's faults, this time to his face. Why did Yaakov think it was necessary to do so? Why not just keep quiet? Let Lavan have his fun poking around the tents and then everyone will just peacefully be able to continue on their way?

Once we understand who Yaakov was, then we will realize that these three events were not cases of Yaakov losing control of his temper and acting out of character. Rather, Yaakov's responses during these events represented a true reflection of Yaakov's persona and was very much a part of his character. Yaakov symbolized emes. He could not tolerate any resemblance of (sheker) falsehood. When Yaakov came and saw that the shepherds were either stealing payment from their employers or time from themselves, he could not just stand by and watch. Similarly, his time spent with Lavan might have seemed normal to others, but Yaakov recognized the lifestyle dependent on sheker. Again, Yaakov could not just let Lavan continue on his merry way. As a representative of emes, it was Yaakov's job to bring emes into the world and point out any sheker. Therefore, it was indeed Yaakov's task to give mussar to the shepherds and point out the sheker revolving around Lavan's life.

Now that we have a better understanding of Yaakov avinu, there is a difficulty that must be dealt with. As aforementioned, Yaakov and his family ran away from Lavan's house. The Torah describes that after Lavan caught up to them and accused Yaakov of stealing his idols, Yaakov said, “With whomever you find your gods, he shall not live...”⁷ Of course, however, as the Torah continues, “And Yaakov did not know that Rachel had stolen them”.⁸ Why is it, though, that Yaakov did not take this into consideration? Lavan had just come to hunt them down because he had reason to believe that someone in Yaakov's family had taken his gods. Obviously Lavan thought it was a reasonable accusation to make, so what could make Yaakov so sure that indeed know one in his family had taken them? Did it not enter Yaakov's mind that perhaps his wife had taken the idols to stop her father from doing avodah zarah (idol worship)? Certainly someone as calculated and clear-minded as Yaakov could not overlook such a possibility. So, why was he so confident to the point that he cursed whoever had taken them?

Perhaps, we could explain this as well based on our understanding of Yaakov. Being a representative of emes means acting aggressively when it comes to fighting sheker. Just as Yaakov would consider it his duty to approach the shepherds at the well and Lavan to let them know precisely what they were doing wrong, so too if Lavan's avoda zarah issue had to be taken care of, it would not be done secretly. Instead, it should be taken care of the way his grandfather, Avraham, would have dealt with it: make a complete mockery and destroy them.⁹ Therefore, when Lavan came and accused Yaakov of stealing his gods, Yaakov felt confident that it was no one from his family. He probably thought something along the lines of, “Hmm, destroying his avodah zarah would have been a nice thing to do, but, oh well, too late. It could not have been anyone from my household that took it, because if it had, then they would have, and should have, made a whole big stink about it.” Someone on the level of Yaakov avinu who took the responsibility of bringing kiddush Hashem into the world expected that those fighting for the emes to do so in the way he was taught. From the fact that such a situation did not occur, Yaakov was sure that no one from his family had taken the idols.

However, as we know, someone of Yaakov's house did in fact steal the idols – Yaakov's wife, Rachel. As a matter of fact, Rashi¹⁰ tells us that it was indeed Yaakov's curse which caused Rachel to die on the road. What went wrong? If Yaakov's logic was correct, then it was indeed not probable that Rachel took the idols; yet, she did and did so without making a whole scene about it. Where was Yaakov's error in calculation, which ultimately caused him to accidentally curse his wife?

In order to understand this, let us focus on the small time frame from when Rachel stole the teraphim (Lavan's idols) to, just minutes later, their great escape. The passuk¹¹ states, “...and Rachel stole the teraphim that belonged to her father.” Rashi¹² explains that Rachel did so because she intended to separate Lavan from idolatry. The difficulty with this is why did she wait so long? She had been with Yaakov living there for many years already. Why did Rachel suddenly wake up and decide to stop her father from worshiping idols, only minutes before she was to leave forever?

In parshas Chayei Sarah, the Torah describes that when Eliezer, the servant of Avraham, came to Lavan's father's house to find a wife for Yitzchak, Lavan came running out to meet him. He said to Eliezer, “Why should you stand outside when I have cleared the house...?”¹³ Rashi¹⁴ comments that Lavan was hinting to Eliezer that he had cleared the house of idols. Lavan was evidently smart enough to realize that someone from the house of Avraham would not want anything to do with a house full of idols. So, perhaps when Yaakov came to Lavan's house, Lavan once again cleared his idols from sight. While Yaakov was living in Lavan's house, Lavan suppressed his temptation to serve idols. However, Rachel realized that as soon as Lavan would realize that they had left, the first thing Lavan would do would be to dust off his idols and start serving them once again. Therefore, it was only at the last second that it was necessary to dispose of Lavan's idols. Before then, Lavan had them stored away because he did not want to take them out in the presence of Yaakov.¹⁵

This might explain why Rachel waited so long to confiscate Lavan's idols. However, still, why was it that she did not make a public scene of it as Yaakov would have expected?

There is an extremely intriguing passuk (verse) that the Torah uses to describe Yaakov's escape: “And Yaakov deceived Lavan the Aramean by not telling him that he was fleeing”.¹⁶ There are two elements in this passuk which are quite difficult to understand. First, it is extremely bothersome that the Torah calls Yaakov a deceiver¹⁷. Second, the passuk seems to take Yaakov to task for not telling Lavan that he was running away. This makes no sense. If the Torah would be upset at Yaakov for fleeing, we might understand. However, the Torah is not blaming Yaakov for running away, instead the Torah is troubled over the fact that Yaakov ran away without letting Lavan know. What kind of accusation is this? If Yaakov did the right thing by running away, then, by definition, he did the right thing by not telling Lavan. It is impossible to secretly run away from someone if you tell him when you are leaving!

The Ohr HaChayim¹⁸ comes to address these issues and explains as follows. After Yaakov had amassed wealth as a successful shepherd and had a family of eleven of the twelve shevatim, he asked Lavan, “Give me my wives and my children for whom I have worked for you, and I will go.”¹⁹ Rashi²⁰ there says that Yaakov told Lavan that he does not want to leave without permission. Yaakov said this to trick Lavan into thinking that he would ask before leaving. This would give Yaakov the opportunity to leave whenever he wanted, steering clear out of Lavan's way – who was expecting to be asked permission first. For this, the Torah calls Yaakov a deceiver.

Yaakov had many good reasons to run away from Lavan's house, and Hashem agreed to his calculations. As a matter of fact, Hashem Himself actually told him to go back to Yitzchak and Rivkah. However, to go so far as to first tell Lavan that he would never think of leaving without asking permission, was a little too much. Being on the incredibly high level that Yaakov was on, he should not have transgressed even on this slight form of geneivas da'as from Lavan. Yaakov was expected to just run away, without playing mind games with Lavan first. The tremendous level of greatness that Yaakov had achieved came with the responsibility of being extra careful and judged k'chut ha'sa'arah²¹.

Had Yaakov not asked the faked permission that time from Lavan, then Rachel could have said to Lavan, “At some point we are going to run away. This is obvious and you have probably considered this already. When we do so, I know that you will go right back to serving your avodah zarah.” Then, Rachel could have given him a whole speech and gotten rid of the avodah zarah right then and there. However, because Yaakov first told Lavan that he would ask before leaving, Rachel was stuck. If they were not going to leave anyway until Lavan's say-so, then it made sense for her to wait until Lavan granted them permission in order rebuke him and take the idols. To do so before hand would have been unreasonable because Lavan was not worshiping the idols while they were still living in his house. Therefore, had Rachel in fact given Lavan the avodah zarah mussar shmooze, then it would be a dead give-away that they were planning on escaping, and that Yaakov had tricked him. It comes out that it was because of the untruth that Yaakov told Lavan originally, that Rachel was forced to play along.

Perhaps this slight mistake was what ultimately caused Yaakov to miscalculate when it came to cursing the one who stole the teraphim. When Rachel went to take the teraphim she could not make a whole scene of it because she had to play along with the delusion that Yaakov had fed to Lavan. Had she given Lavan a whole speech while taking the idols, Lavan would have suspected that Yaakov had tricked him and that he had been planning all along on leaving without asking permission.

Although Yaakov did not necessarily do anything wrong by originally tricking Lavan, by doing so he ended up miscalculating. He figured that had anyone of his household taken the idols, they would have made it into a whole mussar shmooze. However, the fact that he failed to consider was that because of his tricking Lavan, the rest of his logic became flawed. All it took was this minor entry of trickery into Yaakov's head that resulted in such a grave outcome.

Yaakov was the one who was picked by Hashem to be the one to bring emes into the world and fight the sheker of Eisav and Lavan. Yaakov took this responsibility to heart and did uplift the world by being someone who people looked at and realized what emes is²². Therefore when Yaakov fed Lavan a slight piece of untruthful information, it back-fired and flawed his own logic-flow, ultimately causing him to unknowingly curse his wife.

May Hashem help us achieve the highest levels of emes and help us stay away from sheker.

1Beraishis 25:27

2Ibid.

3Beraishis 29:7

4Rashi Ibid.

5Beraishis 31:4-13

6Beraishis 31:36-42

7Beraishis 31:32

8Ibid.

9See Kli Yakar 27:1 who writes that the Torah says that Yitzchak became blind and Rashi explains that the cause of this was the smoke from the wives of Eisav who would offer incense to avodah zarah. The Kli Yakar asks that how could it be that Yitzchak and Rivkah tolerated avodah zarah? They came from the household of Avraham and would have been expected to protest the avodah zarah as Avraham used to do. If so, we could assume that the Kli Yakar would expect no less from Yaakov and Rachel.

10Rashi Ibid.

11Beraishis 31:19

12Rashi Ibid.

13Beraishis 24:31

14Rashi Ibid.

15One could ask that perhaps only in Eliezer's case did Lavan care enough to hide his idols, because he was interested in making a good impression on Eliezer who had come with a lot of money. Yaakov, however, came being dirt poor after being robbed by Eliphaz. Even considering this, I would still argue that Lavan still wanted to make a good impression on Yaakov because he knew that his family was wealthy, even if Yaakov was mugged on the way.

16Beraishis 31:20

17The passuk actually uses a word with the root of ganav – that Yaakov “stole the heart of Lavan”.

18Beraishis 31:20

19Beraishis 30:26

20Rashi Ibid.

21Literally: like a strand of hair. Meaning, Hashem is very strict and scrutinizes every detail because of the higher expectation.

22Yaakov had a tremendous influence on places, even by just being there. This could be seen from the first passuk in this week's parsha (28:10), which says, “And Yaakov departed from Be'er-Sheva and went to Charan”. Rashi there explains that the passuk mentions this to teach that when a tzaddik departs from or arrives to a city, there is an impression that is felt.