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Thoughts on the Parsha ~
Parshas Vayigash
How Old Are You Now?
By: Daniel Listhaus
וַיָּבֵא יוֹסֵף אֶת יַעֲקֹב אָבִיו
וַיַּעֲמִדֵהוּ לִפְנֵי פַרְעֹה וַיְבָרֶךְ יַעֲקֹב אֶת פַּרְעֹה: וַיֹּאמֶר
פַּרְעֹה אֶל יַעֲקֹב כַּמָּה יְמֵי
שְׁנֵי חַיֶּיךָ: וַיֹּאמֶר יַעֲקֹב אֶל פַּרְעֹה יְמֵי שְׁנֵי מְגוּרַי שְׁלשִׁים
וּמְאַת שָׁנָה
mמְעַט וְרָעִים הָיוּ יְמֵי
שְׁנֵי חַיַּי וְלֹא הִשִּׂיגוּ אֶת יְמֵי שְׁנֵי חַיֵּי אֲבֹתַי בִּימֵי
מְגוּרֵיהֶם
“Then Yosef brought Yaakov, his father, and
stood him before Pharaoh, and Yaakov blessed Pharaoh. Pharaoh said to Yaakov,
'How many are the days of the years of your life?' Yaakov said to Pharaoh, 'The
days of the years of my sojourns have been one hundred and thirty years; few
and bad gave been the days of the years of my life and they have not reached
the days of the years of the lives of my forefathers in the days of their
sojourns.'”
-Vayigash 47:7-9
After Yosef revealed himself to his
brothers, the brothers went back to fetch Yaakov and bring him down to
Mitzrayim. As soon as Yaakov entered Mitzrayim, the famine, which was supposed
to last for another five years,[1]
miraculously ended as the Nile overflowed and watered the land. Yosef then went
to Pharaoh and made all the proper arrangements for the B'nei Yisroel to
be able to settle peacefully and separately in the city of Goshen. After
Pharaoh granted Yosef what he had asked for, Yosef went to get his father to
introduce him to Pharaoh.
Rashi[2] comments that upon meeting Pharaoh for the first time,
Yaakov did what any person would do, he said “hello”. However, Pharoah's
response seems to be a little strange and out of place. The passuk3
(verse) describes that after Yaakov greeted Pharaoh, Pharaoh asked Yaakov,
“How old are you?” What sparked Pharaoh to ask such a question? It was not
Yaakov's birthday nor was he in 'parsha' that Pharaoh was trying to be
his shadchan. So what possessed Pharaoh to ask such a question?
Furthermore, let us say that we
could somehow understand why Pharaoh asked this question, how could we begin to
understand Yaakov's answer? The passuk[3] states
that Yaakov replied that his days and years were few and miserable. What was
the purpose in answering in this way? If Yaakov felt that the question was
inappropriate he could have brushed it off somehow, and if he thought it was an
appropriate question, why did he not respond with his age? Either way,
complaining about his past experiences seems completely purposeless. How could
we understand Yaakov's response?
The Da'as Zekainim[4] as
well as the Chizkuni[5] explain
as follows. When Pharaoh took one look at Yaakov, he was in shock. He thought
to himself: How could it be that a person who is so old still be alive? He was
too curious how old Yaakov was and could not help but ask. However, the reality
was that Yaakov was not really considered old for someone in those times, he
merely looked old. This is precisely what Yaakov responded to Pharaoh. He told
him that he was not as old as he looks; he just looks so old because of the
many troubles he experienced during his lifetime. The Da'as Zekainim and
Chizkuni continue to explain that for each of the 33 words that Yaakov
used to complain to Pharaoh, a year was taken off his life.
There are two problems with this
explanation. First, why was Yaakov punished? After all Pharaoh had asked him a
question wondering how old Yaakov was because he looked extremely old. Yaakov
was merely setting Pharaoh straight by informing him that he was not as old as
he looks. Second, if you count the number of words that Yaakov used while
“complaining to Pharaoh”, you will find that there are actually only 25 words.
So why were 33 years taken from his life? Where were the other eight words
said?
The Chizkuni writes that not
only was a year taken off of Yaakov's life for every word that he said, but
additionally for the eight words the Torah uses to record Pharaoh’s question.
So we could now understand mathematically where the number 33 comes from, but
still, what did Yaakov do wrong that he should be punished at all, let alone
punished for the words Pharaoh used in asking him how old he was?
The mishna[6]
quotes Shammai who said, “Receive every person with a pleasant facial
expression”. Clearly Shammai is not merely referring to a person who just won
the lottery because such a person would already be walking around with a smile
on his face. Rather, Shammai is referring to every scenario. It does not matter
if you just won the lottery, had a regular day, or failed a test. A person has
an obligation to greet people with a warm and friendly “hello” no matter what.
There is a story told about Rav
Yisroel Salanter (founder of the “Mussar Movement”) that he was once
walking down the street and he crossed paths with another person who was
clearly not in the best of moods. Rav Yisroel approached him and asked if
everything was okay. The man responded, “What do you mean, Rebbe, by
asking if everything is okay? Surely you know that it is the aseres y'mei
teshuva (ten days from Rosh Hashana until Yom Kippur)
and that the yom ha'din (judgment day) will soon be here! This is
why I am so troubled and look so worried and depressed.” To this, Rav Yisroel
responded, “I don't understand. Why should I have to suffer because of your yom
ha'din?”
The lesson that Rav Yisroel was
teaching this man is a profound one. When we are walking in public or
interacting with other people, what right do we have to throw our misery onto
them? The fact that we may have had a bad day at school or work does not give
us the divine right to walk around ignoring people. Just the opposite. We are
still obligated to stop to say hello and, furthermore, we are expected to do it
with a smile.
With this in mind, we could now
understand why Yaakov avinu was punished. When Yaakov came down to Mitzrayim
his face clearly showed the combination of his challenging life experiences. He
was chased by Eisav, had to run away from home, was tricked in the house of
Lavan, buried his wife while traveling, had his daughter kidnapped, and for
many years was under the impression that his favorite son was dead. There is no
doubt that Yaakov did indeed lead quite a difficult life. However, for a tzaddik
such as himself, Hashem expected him to keep his troubles inside and not
burden the world with them. The fact that when meeting Pharaoh for the first
time and saying hello, Pharaoh was able to immediately sense something was
wrong from the way Yaakov looked, and right away asked, “How old are you?”, was
proof to Yaakov that he was not doing a good job greeting people with “seiver
panim yafos” (a pleasant facial expression). This is why Yaakov was
punished even for Pharaoh having to ask the question – because Yaakov should
not have allowed himself to show his difficulties at the expense of others.
Saying hello and greeting someone for the first time is not the time to burden
him with your issues even if all you are doing is showing it in the quality of
your hello.
[1]
They were already into their second year of the famine.
[2]
Rashi Beraishis 47:7
[3]
Beraishis 47:8
[4]
Ibid.
[5]
Ibid.
[6]
Avos 1:15
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