Friday, December 6, 2013

Parshas Vayigash - How Old Are You Now?

Parshas Vayigash



How Old Are You Now?
By: Daniel Listhaus

וַיָּבֵא יוֹסֵף אֶת יַעֲקֹב אָבִיו וַיַּעֲמִדֵהוּ לִפְנֵי פַרְעֹה וַיְבָרֶךְ יַעֲקֹב אֶת פַּרְעֹה: וַיֹּאמֶר פַּרְעֹה אֶל יַעֲקֹב כַּמָּה יְמֵי שְׁנֵי חַיֶּיךָ: וַיֹּאמֶר יַעֲקֹב אֶל פַּרְעֹה יְמֵי שְׁנֵי מְגוּרַי שְׁלשִׁים וּמְאַת שָׁנָה מְעַט וְרָעִים הָיוּ יְמֵי שְׁנֵי חַיַּי וְלֹא הִשִּׂיגוּ אֶת יְמֵי שְׁנֵי חַיֵּי אֲבֹתַי בִּימֵי מְגוּרֵיהֶם

Then Yosef brought Yaakov, his father, and stood him before Pharoah, and Yaakov blessed Pharoah. Pharoah said to Yaakov, 'How many are the days of the years of your life?' Yaakov said to Pharoah, 'The days of the years of my sojourns have been one hundred and thirty years; few and bad gave been the days of the years of my life and they have not reached the days of the years of the lives of my forefathers in the days of their sojourns.'
-Vayigash 47:7-9

After Yosef revealed himself to his brothers, the brothers went back to fetch Yaakov and bring him down to Mitzrayim. As soon as Yaakov entered Mitzrayim, the famine, which was supposed to last for another five years1, miraculously ended as the Nile overflowed and watered the land. Yosef then went to Pharoah and made all the proper arrangements for the B'nei Yisroel to be able to settle peacefully and separately in the city of Goshen. After Pharoah granted Yosef what he had asked for, Yosef went to get his father to introduce him to Pharoah.

Rashi2 comments that upon meeting Pharoah for the first time, Yaakov did what any person would do, he said “hello”. However, Pharoah's response seems to be a little strange and out of place. The passuk3 (verse) describes that after Yaakov greeted Pharoah, Pharoah asked Yaakov, “How old are you?” What sparked Pharoah to ask such a question? It was not Yaakov's birthday nor was he in 'parsha' that Pharoah was trying to be his shadchan. So what possessed Pharoah to ask such a question?

Furthermore, let us say that we could somehow understand why Pharoah asked this question, how could we begin to understand Yaakov's answer? The passuk states that Yaakov replied that his days and years were few and miserable. What was the purpose in answering in this way? If Yaakov felt that the question was inappropriate he could have brushed it off somehow, and if he thought it was an appropriate question, why did he not respond with his age? Either way, complaining about his past experiences seems completely purposeless. How could we understand Yaakov's response?
The Da'as Zekainim4 as well as the Chizkuni5 explain as follows. When Pharoah took one look at Yaakov, he was in shock. He thought to himself: How could it be that a person who is so old still be alive? He was too curious how old Yaakov was and could not help but ask. However, the reality was that Yaakov was not really considered old for someone in those times, he merely looked old. This is precisely what Yaakov responded to Pharoah. He told him that he was not as old as he looks, he just looks so old because of the many troubles he experienced during his lifetime. The Da'as Zekainim and Chizkuni continue to explain that for each of the 33 words that Yaakov used to complain to Pharoah, a year was taken off his life.

There are two problems with this explanation. First, why was Yaakov punished? After all Pharoah had asked him a question wondering how old Yaakov was because he looked extremely old. Yaakov was merely setting Pharoah straight by informing him that he was not as old as he looks. Second, if you count the number of words that Yaakov used while “complaining to Pharoah”, you will find that there are actually only 25 words. So why were 33 years taken from his life? Where were the other eight words said?

The Chizkuni writes that not only was a year taken off of Yaakov's life for every word that he said, but additionally for the eight words the Torah uses to record Pharoah's question. So we could now understand mathematically where the number 33 comes from, but still, what did Yaakov do wrong that he should be punished at all, let alone punished for the words Pharoah used in asking him how old he was?

The mishna6 quotes Shammai who said, “Receive every person with a pleasant facial expression”. Clearly Shammai is not merely referring to a person who just won the lottery because such a person would already be walking around with a smile on his face. Rather, Shammai is referring to every scenario. It does not matter if you just won the lottery, had a regular day, or failed a test. A person has an obligation to greet people with a warm and friendly “hello” no matter what.

There is a story told about Rav Yisroel Salanter (founder of the “Mussar Movement”) that he was once walking down the street and he crossed paths with another person who was clearly not in the best of moods. Rav Yisroel approached him and asked if everything was okay. The man responded, “What do you mean, Rebbe, by asking if everything is okay? Surely you know that it is the aseres y'mei teshuva (ten days from Rosh Hashana until Yom Kippur) and that the yom ha'din (judgment day) will soon be here! This is why I am so troubled and look so worried and depressed.” To this, Rav Yisroel responded, “I don't understand. Why should I have to suffer because of your yom ha'din?”

The lesson that Rav Yisroel was teaching this man is a profound one. When we are walking in public or interacting with other people, what right do we have to throw our misery onto them? The fact that we may have had a bad day at school or work does not give us the divine right to walk around ignoring people. Just the opposite. We are still obligated to stop to say hello and, furthermore, we are expected to do it with a smile.
With this in mind, we could now understand why Yaakov avinu was punished. When Yaakov came down to Mitzrayim his face clearly showed the combination of his challenging life experiences. He was chased by Eisav, had to run away from home, was tricked in the house of Lavan, buried his wife while traveling, had his daughter kidnapped, and for many years was under the impression that his favorite son was dead. There is no doubt that Yaakov did indeed lead quite a difficult life. However, for a tzaddik such as himself, Hashem expected him to keep his troubles inside and not burden the world with them. The fact that when meeting Pharoah for the first time and saying hello, Pharoah was able to immediately sense something was wrong from the way Yaakov looked and right away asked, “How old are you?”, was proof to Yaakov that he was not doing a good job greeting people with “seiver panim yafos” (a pleasant facial expression). This is why Yaakov was punished even for Pharoah having to ask the question – because Yaakov should not have allowed himself to show his difficulties at the expense of others. Saying hello and greeting someone for the first time is not the time to burden him with your issues even if all you are doing is showing it in the quality of your hello.

1They were already into their second year of the famine.
2Rashi Beraishis 47:7
3Beraishis 47:8
4Ibid.
5Ibid.

6Avos 1:15

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