Parshas
Vayishlach
The
Wholesome Man
By:
Daniel Listhaus
וַיָּבֹא
יַעֲקֹב שָׁלֵם עִיר שְׁכֶם אֲשֶׁר
בְּאֶרֶץ כְּנַעַן בְּבֹאוֹ מִפַּדַּן
אֲרָם וַיִּחַן אֶת פְּנֵי הָעִיר
“And
Yaakov came intact to the city of Shechem which is in the land of
Canaan, upon his coming from Paddan-aram, and he encamped before the
city.”
-Vayishlach
33:18
After
fighting with the malach
(angel)
of Eisav and meeting up with Eisav himself after so many years, the
Torah testifies that Yaakov did not merely survive his life's
circumstances, but rather emerged complete and intact. Rashi1
explains that Yaakov came out complete in every facet a man has to
deal with: his body, his money, and his relationship with Hashem.2
Indeed, despite the fact that Yaakov was injured while fighting with
the malach
of
Eisav, that he had given a tremendous amount of money to Eisav as a
gift in order to appease him, and that he had spent so many years in
the house of Lavan, he regained his full strength, made back all his
money, and maintained the same relationship with Hashem.
When
we think about the word shaleim,
which the Torah is using to refer to Yaakov's completeness, it is
usually not merely used to describe what someone has, but rather an
area in which one has excelled in and accomplished. In fact, it is
usually that precise shelaimos
which
is what gives an individual the siyata
dish'maya (help
from Hashem)
and
become a reality in the physical sense. If so, it must be that for
Yaakov to have come out of such dramatic experiences unharmed, he
must have exhibited a personal shelaimos
within
himself as a complete person in these three areas – the
relationship he had with others, represented by his body, the
perspective he had about money, reflected as his personal wealth, as
well as his relationship with Hashem, expressed in his unwavering
growth and belief in Hashem.
Let
us start with Yaakov's shelaimos
b'gufo (complete
bodily). When Yaakov heard that Eisav was coming with four-hundred
men, the Torah3
tells, “And Yaakov became very frightened, and it distressed him.”
Rashi4
explains that the Torah uses a double expression of Yaakov's fear in
order to convey a dual message. Yaakov become frightened – for his
own life lest he be killed; and it also distressed him that he may
come to kill others. The Sifsei
Chachomim5
is
bothered why Yaakov would worry about killing others. After all,
Eisav and his men were coming to kill him, if anything it would be a
mitzva
to
protect himself and kill those who were trying to kill him. So, what
was Yaakov distressed about?
The
Sifsei
Chachomim offers
two answers. The first answer is that Yaakov was pained by the
thought that he would have to kill Eisav while Yitzchak was still
alive. Certainly Yitzchak loved Eisav tremendously and would be
extremely upset to hear that he had been killed by Yaakov. Yaakov was
sensitive to this, while at the same time understood that he had to
do what had to be done. The Sifsei
Chachomim's
second answer is even more mind-blowing. The
second
answer the Sifsei
Chachomim offer
is that really Yaakov was not worried at all about needing to kill
Eisav because after all, as aforementioned, if someone is coming to
kill, they become chayav
meesah (one
worthy of the death sentence)
themselves
with a din
(law)
of
rodeif
(someone
chasing to kill) and there would therefore be a mitzva
to
kill him first. However, what Yaakov was worried about was that he
may end up killing one of Eisav's men. Yaakov understood that the
potential war on him and his family was one that was being directed
by Eisav alone. His men were merely doing his bidding and following
orders. Furthermore, they themselves would not have been there to
kill Yaakov and his family because that would be a job that Eisav
would want reserved for himself as personal revenge. Instead, Yaakov
figured that Eisav's army was there only to fight the people and
servants that Yaakov and his family had on their side. For that
alone, Yaakov would not be willing to kill any of them and would at
most, if really necessary, only wish to injure them enough for them
to stop. If we stop and think about this it is absolutely incredible.
What distressed Yaakov only moments before
meeting with Eisav's army? The fact that he may accidentally come to
kill one of Eisav's warriors when he would really only want to hurt
one of them. Such a level of care and sensitivity for the well being
of others even at a time of war is something that we could only dream
of achieving, yet it was a feeling that was real and genuine to
Yaakov. This accomplishment of care for the well-being of others and
to not hurt them any more than necessary was a demonstration of the
shelaimos that
Yaakov had achieved in this area. It was this shelaimos
which
merited
his complete refuah
(healing)
from
the fight with the malach.6
Immediately
prior to meeting face to face with Eisav, Yaakov carried out one of
his strategic moves to try to appease his brother with enormous
gifts. Despite the amount that he gave away, he left intact without a
dent in his bank account. Clearly there was a real shelaimos
that
Yaakov exhibited that had showed his genuine care for everything that
Hashem had given him, despite how insignificant it may be. Indeed,
right before the encounter with the malach
of
Eisav, the Torah testifies to exactly this. The passukim
(verses)7
describe
that while preparing for battle, Yaakov got up in the middle of the
night and crossed the Yabok river with his wives and eleven sons8
along with everything else he owned. Then, the Torah continues that
Yaakov was alone and fought with the malach
of
Eisav. What happened that Yaakov was left alone? Had he not already
crossed the river with his family? Rashi9
explains that Yaakov had forgotten some small jars on the other side
of the Yabbok so he went back for them.
When
we think about the pennies people throw into fountains or the things
that we are quick to leave behind and not care to go back for, it is
hard for us to imagine the tremendous amount of care that Yaakov
displayed with his property. Keep in mind that Yaakov was not a poor
man who had to count pennies, nor did he have nothing better to do
than to separate himself and go back for some worthless jars. On the
contrary, Yaakov was an incredibly wealthy individual at this point
and was under the impression that he was on the verge of going to
war. Yet, he went back to save his property, not because he was a
cheap Jew, but rather because he had a deep appreciation for every
single thing that Hashem gave him. Even a worthless jar was viewed as
incredibly valuable with the perspective that it was hand picked and
given to him from Hashem. Certainly, Yaakov had also achieved a
shelaimos
in
respect for property which expressed itself in this way.10
Yaakov's
relationship with Hashem is something which shows itself clearly
throughout this part of the parsha
as
well. After all, the parsha
opens
with Yaakov sending messenger-angels to Eisav to tell him, “...I
have sojourned with Lavan and have lingered until now...”11.
Rashi12
clarifies that Yaakov was conveying the following message to his
brother: “I sojourned with Lavan, the rasha
(evil
one), yet I kept the six hundred and thirteen mitzvos
and did not learn from his evil actions.” Additionally, when it
came time to fight Eisav, Yaakov put his complete faith in Hashem
relying on the koach
ha'tefillah
(power of davening). Being able to survive the house of Lavan and
emerge as a Tzadik
as
well as put full faith in Hashem are just some of the ways that
Yaakov's shelaimos
in
his relationship with Hashem expressed itself.
Perhaps
this is what the Torah means when it says that “Yaakov arrived
shaleim
(intact)”.
Not simply that he came intact with a healed body, wealth, and all
his learning, but rather that these things replenished themselves
automatically from Hashem because Yaakov had achieved real
shelaimos
in
perfecting his perspective in these three areas.
Recently
in the news there has been a story circulating around about a ninth
grade rebbe
in
New Haven, Connecticut. Rabbi Noach Muroff bought a desk off Craig's
List for $150. However, when the desk did not fit through the door
and drawers had to be taken out to get it through, he was in shock
when he found a plastic bag hidden behind the drawers containing
$98,000 in cash! Reb Noach returned the bag of money to the original
owner of the desk and brought his children along in order to teach
them the incredible lesson of honesty and integrity. It was extremely
inspiring to hear this story and the amazing kiddush
Hashem it
has brought to the world. Indeed Rabbi Muroff demonstrated the task
of a decedent of Yaakov avinu
by
showing his genuine care of others, their property, and an unwavering
belief in Hashem, as he said to news reporters, “If Hashem wants us
to have this $98,000, he will make sure we have it in a way He sees
fit, There's a reason why it didn't fit in the room and why we had to
take the desk apart.”
May
we be inspired by Rabbi Muroff's tremendous kiddush
Hashem and
learn from Yaakov's shelaimos
the
direction we need to take in these three areas of our lives.
1Beraishis
33:18
2See
also Kli Yakar 33:18 who
writes that this these three things are hinted to as an acronym in
the word “Shaleim”
itself.
3Beraishis
32:8
4Ibid.
5Ibid.
6Note:
I am not arguing that it was this specific event which acted as a
zechus, rather just showing from here that Yaakov had
(already) reached this area of shelaimos. This
is just an example of where it shined through.
7Beraishis
32:23-25
8Binyamin
was not yet born at the time
9Beraishis
32:25
10This
is something that could also be seen in the conversation between
Yaakov and Eisav. Eisav's perspective is “yeis lee rav” -
“I have plenty; while the perspective of Yaakov is, “yeis lee
kol” - “I have everything”. Eisav's attitude follows the
passuk in Koheles
(5:9) warning that one
who loves money is not satisfied with money; while Yaakov's
perspective models that which we learn in Pirkei Avos (4:1)
- “Who is rich? One who is happy with what he has.”
11Beraishis
32:5
12Ibid.
(in his second answer)
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