Parshas Behar - We Never Let Go (5776)

~ Thoughts on the Parsha ~

Parshas Behar

We Never Let Go

By: Daniel Listhaus

:וְכִי תַשִּׂיג יַד גֵּר וְתוֹשָׁב עִמָּךְ וּמָךְ אָחִיךָ עִמּוֹ וְנִמְכַּר לְגֵר תּוֹשָׁב עִמָּךְ אוֹ לְעֵקֶר מִשְׁפַּחַת גֵּר

:אַחֲרֵי נִמְכַּר גְּאֻלָּה תִּהְיֶה לּוֹ אֶחָד מֵאֶחָיו יִגְאָלֶנּוּ

“If the hand of an alien and a resident with you will achieve, and your brother becomes improvised with him, and he is sold to an alien, resident with you, or to an idol of an alien’s family; after he has been sold, he shall have redemption; one of his brothers shall redeem him.”

 -Behar 25:47-48

            The Torah[1] describes a scenario where idol worshippers are living amongst Jews and the possibility that a destitute Jew might resort to sell himself as a slave to an idol worshipper in order to be provided for. In such a case, as the next passuk (verse) states, we are commanded to redeem the Jew from his slavery to the idol worshipper. The Sifsei Chochomim[2] and Kli Yakar[3] explain that the obligation to redeem this slave is effective immediately once he is sold as a slave. The reason is because there is a legitimate concern that someone who is working day and night as a slave for an idol worshipper watching his master’s way of life, might give into the temptations and consider, “since my master does not keep Shabbos, worships avodah zarrah (idols), and performs promiscuous acts, I will too.” Therefore, the Torah commanded us to rescue such a person and get him out of that situation as soon as possible before more damage is done. The Kli Yakar even goes further to say that even if the person has been a slave to an idol worshipper for a long time and was able to perfectly maintain his level of Torah, mitzvos and beliefs, the Torah still obligates us to redeem him immediately in order that he should not learn from the idol worshipers bad actions.

            Let us not forget that the idol worshipper the Torah is discussing is one who is living amongst Jews – in a frum community, and therefore it is not the case that the man who sold himself as a slave is now living alone on an island with no kosher food, shul, or community to hold him accountable to a standard. This man is still living in his town. Yet, the Torah understands that the focused environmental pressure of living in the same house and watching the actions of a master who is an idol worshipper is so strong that it could trump the broader community pressure. Therefore, even if he “proves himself” by somehow staying as a slave without being negatively affected, we still cannot be sure that he will be able to withstand the pressure and the commandment remains to redeem him immediately.

            The S’forno[4] cites the Gemara[5] which says that this passuk is coming not only as a commandment to redeem a slave in order that he not learn from the actions of his master, but also on a deeper level to uproot a mistaken mindset that some might have that, “Once this man already went to work as a slave for an avoda zarrah we might as well throw a rock on top of the fallen”. In other words, this slave was clearly not the most religious to begin with, as Rashi[6] writes, his poverty came from his original associations with a ba’al avodah zarrah and learning – even if just a little – from his  evil actions. One might therefore be inclined to say that such a person is a “lost cause” and that he is not worth the time and effort to redeem. After all, he is already on the wrong track and who says he will ever re-ignite his interest in his maximum potential in Torah and Judaism? Therefore the Torah informs us that such a perspective is wrong. We never give up on a Jew. Even if one is already on a bad track, doing inappropriate or forbidden things, and perhaps even has embraced a non-Torah lifestyle, still, we do not drop rocks on the fallen. Instead we are tasked to never give up and to redeem him immediately.

            The Torah is teaching us an incredible lesson of the persistence we must have never to give up on our peers. Kol Yisroel areivim zeh l’zeh (all of Yisroel are guarantors for each other) and v’ahavta l’rayacha ka’mocha (love your friend like yourself) are mantras we have to live by and deeply feel. Our responsibility for one another is certainly a commandment, but it is not one given without reason. We have to tune our perspective to get out of a “giving up” attitude and into a “never letting go” mentality.

           

             When we see fellow members of k’lal Yisroel who have virtually “sold themselves” and taken paths of external negative pressures, what is our attitude? Do we roll our eyes and fling our hands down at them – throwing the proverbial rock on the fallen? Or do we extend a hand a pass them a rope to help them up? Granted the situation is unfortunate, and certainly we should do whatever we can to prevent such situations from happening in the first place, just as we should provide for the poor so that no one should ever have to be sold as a slave. However, if that was not done we must still maintain that same level of persistence to redeem those who are in situations of negative influence. After all, if the Torah is commanding us not to give up then it must be that Hashem Himself has not given up.

            This powerful lesson of community and interpersonal responsibility could be extended to apply on an intrapersonal level as well. Sometimes we ourselves continue bad habits or keep heading in the wrong direction not just because it is hard to change but rather often because we have given up on ourselves, think that if others would know what we were up to that they would discount us, or perhaps believe that even G-d has given up on us. However, such a mentality is completely false. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth! This passuk which commands, “acharei nimkar geulah teheiyeh lo” is a commandment to change one’s perspective on life not to give up on our peers and certainly never to give up on ourselves; not only initially if and when we start slipping in areas we find difficult chas v’shalom, but even after we are literally or figuratively sold as a slave to idol worshippers.

            May Hashem help us and all of k’lal Yisroel stay on the proper path even during the hardest of times and through the strongest of negative pressures. However, at the same time may we always remember that our responsibility to one another does not stop at preventative measures but rather extends to make sure that we are always there to assist those in spiritual need. We do not give up. Instead of throwing a rock on the fallen we throw down a rope so that those who need can be pulled back up. This is true of our responsibility to ourselves as well. Instead of kicking the bottom of the cliff we slipped down and letting a boulder roll down to smash us out of despair, we must keep in mind that Hashem has not given up on us and therefore we should not give up on ourselves. May we use this crucial time of sefiras ha’omeir to work on these areas of bein adom l’chaveiro and bein adom l’atzmo so that we will be prepared to reaccept the relationship of bein adom l’Hashem at the approaching z’man mattan Torah in its purest form.

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[1] Vayikra 25:47-48

[2] Vayikra 25:47

[3] Vayikra 25:48

[4] Ibid.

[5] Kiddushin 20b

[6] Vayikra 25:47

Parshas Kedoshim - Approaching Understanding

~ Thoughts on the Parsha ~

Parshas Kedoshim

Approaching Understanding

By: Daniel Listhaus

לֹא תִקֹּם וְלֹא תִטֹּר אֶת בְּנֵי עַמֶּךָ וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ אֲנִי ה'

“You shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge against the members of your people; you shall love your fellow as yourself – I am Hashem.”

 -Kedoshim 19:18

            The concept of v’ahavta l’ray’acha ka’mocha is one that is taught to children already at a young age and is one which is universally accepted as fundamental to Torah life, in fact, Rabbi Akiva famously taught, “v’ahavta l’rayacha ka’mocha zeh k’lal gadol ba’torah”.[1]

            As important and fundamental, and arguably conceptually obvious as this mitzvah is, there are two big issues with such a commandment which the Ramban points out. First,       the Ramban[2] writes, how could the Torah command a person to love others as much as one loves himself? It is impossible! A person’s heart could love someone a lot, but not as much as oneself. If so how could the Torah command of us something which is impossible?

            Second, the Gemara[3] discusses a case where two people are traveling and are both dying of dehydration and there is only one bottle of water between them. The Gemara brings from no other than Rabbi Akiva himself that “chayecha kodmin l’chayei chaveirecha” – that your life must take priority over your friend’s; thereby ruling that you should drink the water yourself and save your own life as your friend dies. We see from this Gemara, that it is actually forbidden to “love a friend as much as yourself” and you would have to drink the water yourself and watch your friend dehydrate. If so, the Ramban asks, how can we reconcile this with the commandment the Torah states clearly that we are commanded to love a friend like ourselves?

            The Ramban answers that if one reads the Torah carefully one will realize that the Torah does not say to love one’s friend as oneself; that is a misconception. The Torah does not say “v’ahavta es ray’acha ka’mocha” which would indeed mean to love one’s friend like oneself, but rather the Torah says “v’ahavta l’ray’acha ka’mocha” which actually means to love for a friend as one would for oneself. The Torah commands that we be pleasant to others and wish upon them everything we would wish for ourselves without a feeling of jealousness that they would have something we do not. However, the Torah certainly is not commanding one to actually love another human as much as oneself because that is impossible, and certainly not to give up one’s life to save another’s which would be improper.

            This Ramban is a clear example of how important it is to pay attention to the details. The wording of “l’rayacha” instead of “es rayacha” makes such a difference in terms of what the Torah expects of us.

           

            However, along the lines of “paying attention to the details”, let us revisit the Ramban’s premise and his questions. The Ramban bases his first question on the fact that the Torah could not be commanding us to love a friend as much as ourselves because it is not possible. Now, it is true that the maskana (conclusion) of the Ramban is that indeed the words do not even mean that, so the Torah is definitely not demanding that of us. However, is the premise true? Is it really impossible to love someone as much as oneself? How would the Ramban explain people who go out of their way to do things for others? If a person could spend money or time on oneself but instead chooses to spend that same amount on someone else, does he not love that person as much as himself? Where would the Ramban draw the line between random acts of selflessness and ahava? If you do not like someone you probably are not going to do nice things for them voluntarily, so if you are doing something nice it is probably a good indicator that you like them enough to be spending your energy on them instead of relaxing for yourself. Certainly in this sense people could love others as much as themselves, we experience it quite often. So, what does the Ramban mean that it isn’t possible for a person to love another as much as himself? What type of ahava is he referring to that he is so sure is impossible to feel equally for another? It cannot mean giving oneself over in physical exertion, wisdom, or money because those areas of chesed are widespread.

            Furthermore, even if one would argue that the ahava that the Ramban refers to is specifically ultimate ahava when a person would actually be willing to die for another; that cannot be true either as can be proved, ironically, from the Ramban’s second question. The Ramban asked that it cannot be that the Torah demands one to love a friend like himself because the Gemara tells us that one must prioritize one’s own life before his friend’s. It is true that the Gemara says this, but let us think for a moment why the Gemara was compelled to point it out. According to the Ramban’s premise of his first question it is unequivocally impossible for one to love someone else as much as himself. If that is true, why would the Gemara have to rule “prioritize your life before your friend’s”? Well, actually, the reason is that that was needed to refute the Gemara’s hava amina. The Gemara brings the case of two people travelling along the way and one of them has in his possession a flask of water. If both drink from it then they will both die because there is not enough water to sustain both of them until they could reach more water. However,  if only one drinks it then he will be able to survive. In this case Ben Petura said that better both should drink and die than for one to drink and watch the death of his friend. Clearly the idea of an “ahava ka’mocha” exists. People are willing to do things for others – even willing to die for others. How could the Ramban say with such surety that it is impossible for one to love someone else as much as oneself? Which area could he possibly be thinking of which makes that statement so true that it is not only the Ramban’s premise, but remains true in his answer as well?

            There is no doubt that as multifaceted as emotions and middos are, ahava is one of the most complex. Even if one were to categorize the areas where ahava applies, there are so many categories each of which has subcategories and interrelate with the others. The Orchos Tzadikkim[4] splits basic ahava into six areas. Love of parents to children, money, opposite gender, relatives (parents, siblings, extended family and friends), long life, and honor. Of course the feeling that one gets when a child accomplishes something is a different feeling than one gets when spending a nice day out with one’s spouse; and the calming feeling of being healthy and living a long life is different than the feeling of being recognized or earning a lot of money. The same word of ahava or love could be used in all these circumstances to describe a positive connection to very different facets of life. Of course ahava could be misused – both underappreciated and overused – which is why it is a middah and requires introspection and analysis like every other middah. However, perhaps more of an underlying root of ahava which must be identified is the concept of understanding. Understanding is key to loving things because without understanding the ahava will not be used properly. The Orchos Tzadikkim goes through each of the categories explaining that if one just uses the emotion of ahava without stopping to understand how it should be applied, it could result in consequences not good for the receiver of the ahava.

            Everyday in Shema we say “Shema Yisroel Hashem Elokeinu Hashem echad” and follow that by reciting “v’ahavta eis Hashem Elokecha…” it is the willingness to stop, listen and understand our place in the world and our relationship with Hashem (Shema) which allows us to love Him (V’ahavta). Ahava comes from understanding. When one understands and accepts oneself, one can begin to love oneself; and when one understands and accepts other, one can begin to love them. The heart can act through its own emotions, but a meaningful expression of feeling only occurs when the heart’s brain is being used along with it. In fact it is this very aspect that we thank Hashem for every morning in the leading b’racha of “asher nasan l’sechvi vinah” – “the One Who gave the sechvi understanding. Sechvi literally means rooster, referring to the fact that rooster knows when to crow. However, as the Mishna Berurah[5] points out, sechvi also means a heart. We praise and thank Hashem for giving our hearts the ability to understand and differentiate between things as obvious as night and day, for without the ability for the brain to work together with the heart day could easily become confused with night.

            Perhaps it is this deep, but basic, underlying factor of ahava which the Ramban is referring to. It is true that in order to have proper ahava it is vital to approach understanding of the person or thing that the ahava is being felt for. However, it is impossible to know another person one hundred percent. One could approach understanding and work on it but it is just as important to admit to oneself that it is impossible to fully comprehend another person. This is known as the illusion of asymmetric insight – a cognitive bias which refers to people’s perception of thinking that their knowledge of others surpasses others knowledge of themselves. However the truth is that just as you know that others will never fully understand you, so too it is impossible for you to fully understand someone else. You might get to know them extremely well. You may be able to synchronize your thoughts and come to the same exact conclusions most of the time, but you could never understand completely. The reason is simple. We were all created with unique mixtures of middos, tendencies, and situations which all affect us and help shape who we are. In order to have ahava for oneself one has to understand oneself. The more one accepts and understands about oneself the more ahava he could have; and the same is true with one’s relationship with others. However, it is not possible for one to know someone else like himself.

            Perhaps this is what was bothering the Ramban. The Torah commands “v’ahavta l’ray’acha ka’mocha”. Of course it is possible for a person to love another even beyond the point of selflessness where one would be willing to spend loads of time and money and even willing to give up one’s life for another to the point that that was the ruling in the Gemara until Rabbi Akiva himself, the advocate of v’ahavta l’ray’acha ka’mocha, came and ruled “chayecha kodmin…” However if the Torah would in fact command that we love a friend as much as ourselves, that would be impossible because in order to love one needs to understand and one cannot understand another human as well as oneself. Therefore, as the Ramban explains, the passuk is not commanding such an impossible task, but rather just expecting that we wish upon our peers the same good things that we would for ourselves.

            Although it is true that the Torah does not expect us to love others at the same level that we love ourselves because that would not be possible, the Torah does expect that we try our hardest to understand others in order that we could maximize the genuine ahava that we can express.

            May Hashem help us during the time of sefiras ha’omeir, a time specifically meant to be utilized working on our interpersonal relationships, to better understand ourselves so we could love ourselves, as well as approach understanding others so that our ahavas yisroel toward them could be as genuine as possible.

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[1] Yerushalayim Nedarim 9:4 (30b)

[2] Vayikra 19:18

[3] Bava Metzia 62a

[4] Sha’ar Ha’Ahava

[5] Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 46:1:4 brings from the Rosh

Parshas Acharei Mos - Vampires and Blood Poisoning (5776)

~ Thoughts on the Parsha ~

Parshas ACharei MOs

Vampires and Blood Poisoning

By: Daniel Listhaus

וְאִישׁ אִישׁ מִבֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל וּמִן הַגֵּר הַגָּר בְּתוֹכָם אֲשֶׁר יֹאכַל כָּל דָּם וְנָתַתִּי פָנַי בַּנֶּפֶשׁ הָאֹכֶלֶת אֶת הַדָּם וְהִכְרַתִּי אֹתָהּ מִקֶּרֶב עַמָּהּ

“Any man of B’nei Yisroel and of the proselyte who dwells among them who will consume any blood – I shall direct my face upon the soul consuming the blood, and I will cut it off from its people.”

 -Acharei Mos 17:10

            The passuk[1] warns us that it is forbidden to consume blood. Even the blood from a perfectly kosher animal which was properly shechted (slaughtered) is prohibited to eat. This is the reason for the thorough salting process with its accompanying complex halachos. However, the way the Torah warns about this particular commandment is very different from what we find by other negative commandments. Regarding the prohibition of consuming blood Hashem says in the Torah, “I shall direct My face upon the soul consuming blood…” Rashi[2] explains that with this rare expression Hashem is saying, “I will direct My attention and turn aside from all My concerns and deal with him [the transgressor].”

            This Rashi and really the passuk itself are difficult to understand. Certainly we could understand that transgressing on a commandment is a serious matter but why is it that such a strong expression be used by warning B’nei Yisroel not to consume blood? This explicit expression in the Torah of Hashem directing His attention, so to speak, to deal with one who transgressed a negative commandment is quite uncommon; and when it is used it is in reference to those who transgress on horrible aveiros, such as offering one’s children to Molech – a form of avodah zarrah which involved passing children through fire. There is no doubt that an aveirah as atrocious as simultaneously committing avodah zarrah and sheficas damim of children would demand Hashem’s immediate attention, but how could we consider consuming blood on the same level? We are not solely dealing with vampires who are digging their teeth into people they find on the street and sucking all the blood out of them, the prohibition of consuming blood extends even to an individual who eats the blood of a kosher animal which was properly shechted. How could we understand why such a rare and strong expression reserved for the worst aveiros would be used by the consumption of blood?

            Interestingly, the Torah itself over the following couple of passukim gives the reason why consuming blood is so horrible. The passukim[3] state: “For the soul of the flesh is in the blood and I have assigned it for you upon the mizbe’ach to provide atonement for your souls; for it is the blood that atones for the soul. Therefore I have said to the B’nei  Yisroel, ‘Any person from among you may not consume blood; and the proselyte who dwells among you may not consume blood.’ ” Seemingly, the Torah is telling us that because the soul is contained in the blood of an animal, we are forbidden to consume it.

            This however presents a difficulty. After all we are permitted to eat the animal itself, so why would we not be able to consume its blood? The blood should be “kosher” having come from a kosher animal which was properly slaughtered. In such a case the animal is dead, its soul already departed. What could possibly be so bad about eating the blood? Moreover, Rashi[4] takes this point a step further and explains that the Torah cannot mean that the soul is literally housed in the blood of an animal because the soul is a non-physical entity.[5] Rather the Torah means that the soul depends on blood to keep it alive in the body. According to this it comes out that the reason the Torah is giving for why it takes the consumption of blood so seriously that Hashem will turn aside from all His concerns to deal with such a person is because he is eating something which supports the soul of an animal. How could we understand this?

            The Ohr Ha’Chaim[6] in the midst of a longer piece writes that that we as members of B’nei Yisroel – the top of the human race – each have a special connection with Hashem. Our neshamos and nefashos are tethered to a higher source and connected directly from there to our body command centers. When we eat blood and allow the “nefesh pechusa” (lowly soul) of animal into our systems we sever the connection that Hashem has with our nefesh and therefore requires Hashem’s immediate attention to cut it off.

            Learning this Ohr Ha’chaim together with the aforementioned Rashi we realize that it’s not that we are accepting the actual nefesh of the animal into ourselves, rather merely its support system which allows it to remain alive. It follows that by simply allowing the support system of a weaker nefesh into our bloodstreams our nefashos are no longer able to retain their high quality connection; the base is too weak to maintain it like an LTE connection trying to run on a 2g network. This is why consuimung blood requires Hashem’s “immediate attention. When a person eats blood and allows the foreign substance into his bloodstream, his blood becomes mixed with blood created with a bandwidth only capable of handling low quality service, not the high standard that a connection with Hashem demands. Therefore, the wire must be cut.

            If this is true in the physical sense regarding the soul which is a spiritual matter, then how much more so must this be true in a spiritual sense. Performing activities, or even talking or thinking improperly to the point that our spiritual base gets corroded and weakened by a low quality support system and can no longer sustain the Holy connection which uniquely connects B’nei Yisroel to Hashem, that connection must unfortunately be cut off.

            May Hashem help us internalize the mitzvah not to eat blood in order that our bodies remain strong enough physically and spiritually to upkeep the maintenance required to be worthy of being tied with B’nei Yisroel to Hashem.

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[1] Vayikra 17:10

[2] Rashi Ibid.

[3] Vayikra 17:11-12

[4] Vayikra 17:11

[5] See Sifsei Chochomim ibid.

[6] Vayikra 17:10