Parshas
Vayigash
How
Old Are You Now?
By:
Daniel Listhaus
וַיָּבֵא
יוֹסֵף אֶת יַעֲקֹב אָבִיו וַיַּעֲמִדֵהוּ
לִפְנֵי פַרְעֹה וַיְבָרֶךְ יַעֲקֹב אֶת
פַּרְעֹה:
וַיֹּאמֶר
פַּרְעֹה אֶל יַעֲקֹב כַּמָּה יְמֵי
שְׁנֵי חַיֶּיךָ:
וַיֹּאמֶר
יַעֲקֹב אֶל פַּרְעֹה יְמֵי שְׁנֵי
מְגוּרַי שְׁלשִׁים וּמְאַת שָׁנָה מְעַט
וְרָעִים הָיוּ יְמֵי שְׁנֵי חַיַּי
וְלֹא הִשִּׂיגוּ אֶת יְמֵי שְׁנֵי חַיֵּי
אֲבֹתַי בִּימֵי מְגוּרֵיהֶם
“Then
Yosef brought Yaakov, his father, and stood him before Pharoah, and
Yaakov blessed Pharoah. Pharoah said to Yaakov, 'How many are the
days of the years of your life?' Yaakov said to Pharoah, 'The days of
the years of my sojourns have been one hundred and thirty years; few
and bad gave been the days of the years of my life and they have not
reached the days of the years of the lives of my forefathers in the
days of their sojourns.'”
-Vayigash
47:7-9
After
Yosef revealed himself to his brothers, the brothers went back to
fetch Yaakov and bring him down to Mitzrayim. As soon as Yaakov
entered Mitzrayim, the famine, which was supposed to last for another
five years1,
miraculously ended as the Nile overflowed and watered the land. Yosef
then went to Pharoah and made all the proper arrangements for the
B'nei
Yisroel to
be able to settle peacefully and separately in the city of Goshen.
After
Pharoah granted Yosef what he had asked for, Yosef went to get his
father to introduce him to Pharoah.
Rashi2
comments
that upon meeting Pharoah for the first time, Yaakov did what any
person would do, he said “hello”. However, Pharoah's response
seems to be a little strange and out of place. The passuk3
(verse)
describes that after Yaakov greeted Pharoah, Pharoah asked Yaakov,
“How old are you?” What sparked Pharoah to ask such a question?
It was not Yaakov's birthday nor was he in 'parsha'
that Pharoah was trying to be his shadchan.
So what possessed Pharoah to ask such a question?
Furthermore,
let us say that we could somehow understand why Pharoah asked this
question, how could we begin to understand Yaakov's answer? The
passuk
states
that Yaakov replied that his days and years were few and miserable.
What was the purpose in answering in this way? If Yaakov felt that
the question was inappropriate he could have brushed it off somehow,
and if he thought it was an appropriate question, why did he not
respond with his age? Either way, complaining about his past
experiences seems completely purposeless. How could we understand
Yaakov's response?
The
Da'as
Zekainim4
as
well as the Chizkuni5
explain
as follows. When Pharoah took one look at Yaakov, he was in shock. He
thought to himself: How could it be that a person who is so old still
be alive? He was too curious how old Yaakov was and could not help
but ask. However, the reality was that Yaakov was not really
considered old for someone in those times, he merely looked old. This
is precisely what Yaakov responded to Pharoah. He told him that he
was not as old as he looks, he just looks so old because of the many
troubles he experienced during his lifetime. The Da'as
Zekainim
and Chizkuni
continue
to explain that for each of the 33 words that Yaakov used to complain
to Pharoah, a year was taken off his life.
There
are two problems with this explanation. First, why was Yaakov
punished? After all Pharoah had asked him a question wondering how
old Yaakov was because he looked extremely old. Yaakov was merely
setting Pharoah straight by informing him that he was not as old as
he looks. Second, if you count the number of words that Yaakov used
while “complaining to Pharoah”, you will find that there are
actually only 25 words. So why were 33 years taken from his life?
Where were the other eight words said?
The
Chizkuni
writes
that not only was a year taken off of Yaakov's life for every word
that he said, but additionally for the eight words the Torah uses to
record Pharoah's question. So we could now understand mathematically
where the number 33 comes from, but still, what did Yaakov do wrong
that he should be punished at all, let alone punished for the words
Pharoah used in asking him how old he was?
The
mishna6
quotes
Shammai who said, “Receive every person with a pleasant facial
expression”. Clearly Shammai is not merely referring to a person
who just won the lottery because such a person would already be
walking around with a smile on his face. Rather, Shammai is referring
to every scenario. It does not matter if you just won the lottery,
had a regular day, or failed a test. A person has an obligation to
greet people with a warm and friendly “hello” no matter what.
There
is a story told about Rav Yisroel Salanter (founder of the “Mussar
Movement”) that he was once walking down the street and he crossed
paths with another person who was clearly not in the best of moods.
Rav Yisroel approached him and asked if everything was okay. The man
responded, “What do you mean, Rebbe,
by asking if everything is okay? Surely you know that it is the
aseres
y'mei teshuva (ten
days from Rosh
Hashana
until Yom
Kippur)
and that the yom
ha'din (judgment
day)
will
soon be here! This is why I am so troubled and look so worried and
depressed.” To this, Rav Yisroel responded, “I don't understand.
Why should I have to suffer because of your yom
ha'din?”
The
lesson that Rav Yisroel was teaching this man is a profound one. When
we are walking in public or interacting with other people, what right
do we have to throw our misery onto them? The fact that we may have
had a bad day at school or work does not give us the divine right to
walk around ignoring people. Just the opposite. We are still
obligated to stop to say hello and, furthermore, we are expected to
do it with a smile.
With
this in mind, we could now understand why Yaakov avinu
was
punished. When Yaakov came down to Mitzrayim
his face clearly showed the combination of his challenging life
experiences. He was chased by Eisav, had to run away from home, was
tricked in the house of Lavan, buried his wife while traveling, had
his daughter kidnapped, and for many years was under the impression
that his favorite son was dead. There is no doubt that Yaakov did
indeed lead quite a difficult life. However, for a tzaddik
such
as himself, Hashem expected him to keep his troubles inside and not
burden the world with them. The fact that when meeting Pharoah for
the first time and saying hello, Pharoah was able to immediately
sense something was wrong from the way Yaakov looked and right away
asked, “How old are you?”, was proof to Yaakov that he was not
doing a good job greeting people with “seiver
panim yafos”
(a pleasant facial expression). This is why Yaakov was punished even
for Pharoah having to ask the question – because Yaakov should not
have allowed himself to show his difficulties at the expense of
others. Saying hello and greeting someone for the first time is not
the time to burden him with your issues even if all you are doing is
showing it in the quality of your hello.
1They
were already into their second year of the famine.
2Rashi
Beraishis 47:7
3Beraishis
47:8
4Ibid.
5Ibid.
6Avos
1:15
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