Friday, November 8, 2013

Parshas Vayeitzei - Considerable Consideration: Pareidolia and The Way of a Tzaddik

Parshas Vayeitzei



Considerable Consideration:
Pareidolia and The Way of a Tzaddik
By: Daniel Listhaus

וַיֹּאמֶר לָהֶם יַעֲקֹב אַחַי מֵאַיִן אַתֶּם וַיֹּאמְרוּ מֵחָרָן אֲנָחְנוּ: וַיֹּאמֶר לָהֶם הַיְדַעְתֶּם אֶת לָבָן בֶּן נָחוֹר וַיֹּאמְרוּ יָדָעְנוּ: וַיֹּאמֶר לָהֶם הֲשָׁלוֹם לוֹ וַיֹּאמְרוּ שָׁלוֹם וְהִנֵּה רָחֵל בִּתּוֹ בָּאָה עִם הַצֹּאן: וַיֹּאמֶר הֵן עוֹד הַיּוֹם גָּדוֹל לֹא עֵת הֵאָסֵף הַמִּקְנֶה הַשְׁקוּ הַצֹּאן וּלְכוּ רְעוּ

Yaakov said to them, 'My brothers, where are you from?' And they said, 'We are from Charan.' He said to them, 'Do you know Lavan the son of Nachor?' And they said, 'We know.' Then he said to them, 'Is it well with him?' They said, 'It is well; and see – his daughter Rachel is coming with the flock!'”
-Vayeitzei 29:4-7

The Torah describes that Yaakov found himself by a well in a field. At that well, Yaakov saw three flocks of sheep alongside their shepherds, who were just hanging around seemingly wasting their time. Yaakov approached them and asked where they were from. When they responded they were from Charan, he asked if they knew Lavan and if everything was well by him. They confirmed that indeed Lavan was doing well, and they proceeded to point out that Lavan's daughter, Rachel, happened to have been coming to the well at that moment. The passuk (verse) continues to state that Yaakov then asked them why they were just sitting around and not watering their flocks. They answered that as much as they wanted to, they could not, because there was a large stone blocking the well which they were unable to roll off until the other shepherds would come with their flocks, and only together would the stone be able to be removed. The passuk then continues that while Yaakov was still speaking to the shepherds, Rachel had come and when Yaakov saw her, he immediately stepped forward and rolled the stone off in order for Rachel to be able to water her father's sheep.

There are a few interesting things about this event and a couple of lessons to take to heart. After all, the purpose of the Torah is not to relate history or to be a storybook but rather to teach us good middos (character traits) and mitzvos. Clearly the Torah details the conversation between Yaakov avinu and the shepherds in order for us to learn how to act properly.

The S'forno1 writes that in Yaakov's mind it was extremely important for him to know how Lavan was doing before just showing up at his front door. After all, it is not proper for a guest to come unannounced to someone's house without at least knowing what is going on there. Perhaps the host is in the middle of a simcha (happy occasion) or some other event, whether good or bad, that may be preoccupying his mind. If that were to be the case it would not be nice for a guest to barge in and steal the spotlight or divert the host's attention.

The problem with this is that the S'forno does not seem to be taking Yaakov's situation into account. Keep in mind, Yaakov was not going to his uncle Lavan's house for a shabbaton or family vacation; he was running away from his brother who had threatened to murder him. Additionally, as if Yaakov's life was not difficult enough, he bumped into his nephew, Eliphaz, Eisav's son, along the way who robbed him of everything he had.2 Yaakov desperately needed a place to stay, food to eat, work to make money, and a wife to marry. Would it be so unreasonable for Yaakov to show up at Lavan's door with just the shirt on his back and ask for a place to stay? Was it really necessary for him to stop to ask about Lavan's well being before seeing him?

As mentioned above, when the Torah finishes the dialogue between Yaakov and the shepherds and mentions that Rachel came to the well, the Torah testifies that it was only at that moment that Yaakov chose to remove the large rock from on top of the well – a feat that even the three shepherds could not accomplish.3

The S'forno4 is bothered at this point with the following. If indeed Yaakov had the strength to move the stone off the well, then why did he wait for Rachel to come before he rolled it off? Why did he not do so originally to help out the three shepherds who were their with their flocks?

The S'forno therefore comments that it must be that Yaakov did not want to roll the stone off the well for the three shepherds. When Yaakov asked the shepherds why they were just sitting around, they responded that they needed to wait for the other shepherds to come in order to roll the stone off together. Therefore, Yaakov did not want to roll the stone off for them because he was concerned that if he would do so, the shepherds would water their flock and leave instead of waiting around to help out the other shepherds they were originally waiting for. Clearly Yaakov avinu was not merely listening attentively to the words the shepherds were telling him, but was even in-tuned to how his actions would effect those who were not even present.

This S'forno too is difficult to understand. Why did Yaakov have to involve himself so intricately into the business of the shepherds? He chanced upon a situation which called for his simple help, yet he went above and beyond. Yaakov took into account all the details and information thinking about even those who he had never met and would never meet. Imagine if Yaakov would have rolled the stone off and indeed the three shepherds would have watered their own flock and then left before the others came. Would it have been the end of the world? The other shepherds would have probably been confused how the stone was removed from the well, but other than that they would have just watered their own flocks by themselves. Yet Yaakov did not want to roll of the stone because usually the shepherds would have all helped each other, so he did not want to be a cause of taking away the extra help that the other shepherds were used to getting. Only when the curve-ball was pitched and Rachel entered the equation did Yaakov have to re-calculate and decide that, for Rachel, the right thing to do would be to remove the rock. However, was it really necessary for Yaakov to care so much to make personal calculations how his actions would effect every single person? Once again, he had much more important things to worry about than the feelings and effort of people he never met. He was running away from Eisav with absolutely nothing to his name. Why did Yaakov go the extra mile to what seems like an extreme care of others at this particular point?

There is a fascinating phenomenon, which seems to be programmed into every individual, called pareidolia. Although the concept is broad, there is one facet of it which almost every person could relate to. Namely, the ability of people to recognizes faces in many objects. For example, take a look at the electric outlet in your wall, you will see two gasping 'uh-oh' faces staring back at you. Look at the front of any car and you could determine its imaginary character by the way its headlights, hood, and bumper are shaped and sized. Whether it be food arranged on a plate, holes in a tree, or windows on a house, people tend to see faces in common objects all over the place. Yet, as much fun we have pointing out these imaginary faces and putting our own comments in like, “look at that angry oriental-man-car zooming down the street” or “that house looks quite tired with its eyes half closed (shades down halfway on the upstairs windows)”, we tend to often ignore the feelings and story behind real faces. Despite global warming, there is a certain coldness and aloofness which is taking over the world. Friends are for Facebook and emotions go no further than an emoticon in a text message. Everything is virtual, everything is fake. Rarely is someone laughing when they write LOL and rarely does one really care about what one of his Facebook friends is doing, except out of jealousy or to make sure to do something cooler and better. There is no question that it is becoming increasingly uncommon to find a person who genuinely cares about how others are doing.

Yaakov avinu, on the other hand represents exactly the opposite. Despite the fact that he was being hunted by his brother and trying to move to the next stage of his life, Yaakov still paid a tremendous amount of attention to even the little details when it came to caring for others; his asking about Lavan's well-being before barging in, and his being able to stand in the shoes of people he never met in order to determine how his potential actions would effect them, were things that were so important to Yaakov that even his hard situation would not stop him from behaving in ways he deemed as sub-human. It would have been so easy to throw in the towel and feel that he had a right to knock on Lavan's door and ask to stay there. It would have been fine to not go so far as to worry about the possible extra effort that the shepherds who were coming later might have to exert. However that was not Yaakov. Yaakov is our role model as one of our avos, and demonstrated how we, as people who were created b'tzelem Elokim, are expected to act towards others.

May Hashem help us recognize Yaakov avinu as our role model and in turn allow us to mend the three legs that the world stands on - Torah, Avodah, and Gamillas Chasadim (kindness),5 and push away the three things which are currently destroying it – Kinnah (jealousy), Taivah (lust), and Kavod (honor).6



1S'forno Beraishis 29:6
2See Rashi Beraishis 29:11. Eliphaz was really coming on Eisav's orders to kill Yaakov. However, Eliphaz found himself in a conflict because on the one hand Eliphaz loved Yaakov, but on the other hand, he felt he had to carry out his father's wishes. So, they “compromised” and Eliphaz robbed Yaakov of everything because someone with no possessions is considered to be dead.
3See Rabbeinu Bachayei 29:10 who writes that Yaakov was so strong that even though he was exhausted from traveling, he was able to lift the stone off the well, while three shepherds who evidently had not even started their day's work yet, were not able to budge it.
4S'forno Beraishis 29:10
5See Avos 1:2

No comments:

Post a Comment