Friday, November 10, 2017

Parshas Chayei Sarah - Out of the Foxhole and Into the Parking Spot

~ Thoughts on the Parsha ~
Parshas Chayei Sarah


Out of the Foxhole and Into the Parking Spot
                                                                   By: Daniel Listhaus

וַיִּקֹּד הָאִישׁ וַיִּשְׁתַּחוּ לה': וַיּאֹמֶר בָּרוּךְ ה' אֱ לֹקי אֲדֹנִי אַבְרָהָם אֲשֶׁר לאֹ עָזַב חַסְדּוֹ וַאֲמִתּוֹ מֵעִם
אֲדֹנִי אָנֹכִי בַּדֶּרֶךְ נָחַנִי ה' בֵּית אֲחֵי אֲדֹנִי:

“And the man bowed low and prostrated himself to Hashem. He said, ‘Blessed is Hashem, G-d of my master Avraham, Who has not withheld His kindness and truth from my master; as for me, Hashem has guided me in the way to the house of my master’s brothers.”
 -Chayei Sarah 24:26-27

            Avraham sent his servant, Eliezer, to find a wife for Yitzchak. If we stop to think about it, Eliezer truly had a great responsibility. Avraham trusted that Eliezer would not just find the proper wife for Yitzchak, but the proper matriarch for B’nei Yisroel. There is no doubt that the trust that Avraham had in Eliezer was developed over their many years together and Eliezer becoming a great person from spending time in Avraham avinu’s house.[1] Eliezer recognized the importance of his assignment and understood that the only way he could carry it out successfully was to daven to Hashem to help him find the right person. The passukim (verses) describe in detail the tefillos that Eliezer davened to Hashem to give him a sign when he would cross paths with the right wife for Yitzchak. Not only does the Torah mention Eliezer’s tefillos, but it expresses that the story line played out exactly as he davened and then repeats the whole episode again when Eliezer told it over to Lavan and Besuel in their house. Rashi[2] points the repetitiveness and says in the name of Rebbe Acha that the conversation of the slaves of the avos (patriarchs) is more pleasing before Hashem than the Torah of their descendants; for the episode of Eliezer is repeated expressly in the Torah, while many essential elements of the Torah were given only by allusion.” Indeed the middos and mehalech in life that we learn for generations is based on the interactions and ma’aseh avos siman l’banim from the avos themselves. It is as essential as the halachos of the Torah, in fact derech eretz kadmah l’torah, and is an essential part of Torah shel ba’al peh – mishnayos Avos.

            Tefillah is something which is part of every Jew’s daily routine. We daven three times a day representing the tefillos implemented by the Avos[3] and although over the years we have accepted a universal structure to the davening, there is no question that personal prayers and requests are not just proper, but arguably required, throughout the day as we humble ourselves before Hashem and recognize that we are nothing without his constant help. The realization that we need Hashem to help us is one which, for many, comes and goes. The saying goes that there is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole, but sadly the underlying meaning of that aphorism often extends to even the most religious. The Torah itself describes the difficulty man has of recognizing G-d’s involvement in one’s personal life when one achieves success through means which seem natural. As people we are programmed to recognize pattern, and the pattern of cause and effect is one that was built into the briyah (creation) as a guide but could also be misleading to the one who does not stop to think hard of what the real causes and effects are. However, even those who do take time out of their day to stop and personally ask Hashem for help with their day, and even those who stop to take the time to ask Hashem for help even for the things which we think we are “capable” of doing on our “own”, there is something which is often forgotten – saying thank you.

            There is a joke told of a man who is running late to an important meeting. When he reaches the office he cannot find an open parking spot. In desperation he davens to Hashem and says, “Hashem please give me a parking spot; and if You give me a parking spot I promise that I will be a better person.” Suddenly, a spot opens up right in front of him. He races over and takes the spot proudly. After putting his car in park, exiting his car and locking the doors, he looks up and says, “Never mind, I found one myself!”

            Even the times we remember that G-d is in charge and are able to humble ourselves to ask for His assistance, we often forget to turn back and say thank you to Hashem when we recognize our tefillos were accepted. Instead, like the man looking for the parking spot, the approach of many is to say, “I’m glad things worked out, because Hashem would have probably taken a long time to return my call”.

            The episode of Eliezer finding a wife for Yitzchak is remarkable on many accounts. However, one of the points that often goes unnoticed is the fact that at every opportunity along the way Eliezer takes the time to reflect and give thanks to Hashem for helping him and answering his tefillos. After Rivkah offered to get water for Eliezer and his camels and Eliezer realized that she was the right wife for Yitzchak, the passuk writes that he bowed and gave thanks to Hashem. Even when Eliezer recounted the series of events leading to his meeting Rivkah, he included the fact that he thanked Hashem as an integral part of the storyline. A few passukim later after Lavan and Besuel agree to Eliezer’s proposal to bring Rivkah back to Yitzchak as a wide, Eliezer again bowed to Hashem over hearing the good news. Davening always yields results, even when we do not merit to experience the outcome ourselves. However certainly when we do perhaps even when we don’t, it demands a sense of gratitude. Modim is part of the core structure of tefillah.

            If these were the middos of eved Avraham we could only imagine how great our forefather Avraham was with his deep understanding of Hashem being Creator, Master and Director of the world. This is not a theme tied to a specific day but rather one which is timeless and constant. We must learn from this parsha our responsibility to not only turn to Hashem and depend on Him completely to help us through life but also to remember to turn back and say thank you.

            May Hashem help us all and guide us accordingly through our lives and provide us with all our needs as a k’lal and as individuals. Thank you, Hashem, for all that You have done for us, all that You do for us, and all that we have faith that You will continue to do for all of K’lal Yisroel!




[1] Additionally, Avraham also made Eliezer swear. See Beraishis 24:2-4
[2] Beraishis 24:42
[3] See Gemara Berachos 26b. Another opinion maintains that shacharis and mincha were established based in the karbon tamid that was offered morning and afternoon. 

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