Friday, April 1, 2016

Parshas Shemini - Self Acceptance, Not Self Exceptance

~ Thoughts on the Parsha ~
Parshas Shemini

Self Acceptance, Not Self Exceptance
By: Daniel Listhaus

וַיֹּאמֶר משֶׁה אֶל אַהֲרֹן קְרַב אֶל הַמִּזְבֵּחַ וַעֲשֵׂה אֶת חַטָּאתְךָ וְאֶת עֹלָתֶךָ וְכַפֵּר בַּעַדְךָ וּבְעַד הָעָם וַעֲשֵׂה אֶת קָרְבַּן הָעָם וְכַפֵּר בַּעֲדָם כַּאֲשֶׁר צִוָּה ה'

“Moshe said to Aharon: Come near to the mizbe’ach and perform the service of your sin-offering and your olah-offering and provide atonement for yourself and for the people; then perform the service of the people’s offering and provide atonement for them, as Hashem commanded.”
 -Vayikra 9:7

            Rashi[1] in sefer Bamidbar describes that for the first seven days of the inauguration of the Mishkan, Moshe assembled and dismantled the Mishkan each day. On the eighth day however, which was Rosh Chodesh Nissan, Moshe erected the Mishkan and it remained in place until the anan (Cloud) moved indicating that it was time for B’nei Yisroel to travel. Our parsha opens by discussing the events that occurred on the “yom ha’shemini” (eight day of the inauguration) and relates that Moshe told Aharon that as the appointed Kohen Gadol, he was to bring a chatas and an olah on the mizbe’ach before Hashem. Rashi[2] points out that Moshe did not tell this to Aharon secretly, but rather in front of all of the zekainim (elders) of B’nei Yisroel to let them hear that it was Hashem Who declared that Aharon be the Kohen Gadol so that no one should think to say that Aharon just took the position for himself. Rashi[3] further relates that Hashem commanded Aharon to specifically bring a calf[4] as a karbon chatas in order to communicate that through this calf there would be a complete kaparah for his involvement in the eigel ha’zahav (sin of the golden calf).

            Interestingly, when Moshe finished giving his instructions, the Torah does not say straight out that Aharon went ahead and performed as Moshe had said. Rather, the passuk (verse) states, “Moshe said to Aharon: Come near to the mizbe’ach and perform the service of your sin-offering and olah-offering…” Why did Moshe have to repeat himself and seemingly have to “remind” Aharon to do what he had just asked him to do? Why didn’t Aharon just go and bring the chatas and olah as Moshe had just instructed? Why was there a need for Moshe to approach Aharon and say that he should go to the mizbe’ach?

            The Sifsei Chochomim[5] comments that this question is precisely the point which Rashi picks up on from this passuk. From the fact that Moshe had to tell Aharon to come close to the mizbe’ach implies that there was a level of hesitation on Aharon’s side which was preventing him from doing it on his own. Rashi[6] therefore explains that indeed despite Moshe clearly laying out what had to be done, Aharon was hesitant to go ahead and do so because he was embarrassed and afraid. Moshe encouraged Aharon that there was no reason to be embarrassed or afraid for Hashem Himself selected him to be the Kohen Gadol, therefore he should go ahead and approach the mizbe’ach.

            On the surface, this Rashi is difficult to understand. Certainly any person who has ever held a position could relate to being afraid and feeling incompetent and embarrassed on the first day of work, but that cannot be what is going on here. There is no question that Aharon must have felt the full effect of Yiras Hashem as he was thinking about bringing his karbanos, but that is not a reason to be hesitant when it comes to doing what Hashem asked. Awe is one thing, fear is another. If Aharon was hesitant to approach the mizbe’ach, there must have been something serious that was holding him back. What was it?

            The Da’as Zekainim[7] and the Chizkuni[8] both comment[9] that indeed there was a much bigger issue on Aharon’s mind. They explain that after Moshe told Aharon what to do, Aharon started going toward the mizbe’ach but looked up and saw the satan in the form of the eigel ha’zahav[10]. This caused Aharon to stop dead in his tracks and think to himself that perhaps he was not worthy to carry out this job as Kohen Gadol and that it be better for someone else to accept the position instead. When Moshe saw Aharon’s hesitation, he encouraged him and told him to keep walking toward the mizbe’ach because there was nothing to be afraid of since he was selected by Hashem.

            There are two basic questions on this story that come to mind. First, what did Moshe tell Aharon that he did not already know? Aharon knew that Hashem appointed him as Kohen Gadol, in fact everyone knew. It wasn’t that Moshe nominated Aharon for the position and now that Aharon was going through with it he was having second thoughts if he should really be the one chosen as Kohen Gadol. It was Hashem Himself who chose Aharon and not only did Aharon know this but all the zekainim and all of K'lal Yisroel knew this. So what did Moshe tell Aharon that he did not already know that would convince him to put his concern aside? Why would such a motivational speech work? Aharon was in fact Kohen Gadol until the day he died so what was it that he internalized during this conversation that convinced him to proceed?

            Second, how could we even understand the satan’s ploy? Why would it work to make Aharon doubt his worthiness due to the eigel? Rashi had explained that the very karbon he was bringing was representing the fact that Hashem forgave him completely for his personal involvement in the eigel. If in Aharon’s hands was literally the symbolism of Hashem accepting his full teshuvah (repentance), then what was the point of the satan using an outdated scheme? And the stronger question is of course, why did it in fact work to cause Aharon to hesitate?

            Perhaps we could better understand this episode with the following idea. As many know, there are multiple steps to the teshuva process. However, the teshuva process and all of its details really simplify to two main ideas: charata (regretting) on past behavior, and accepting to strive for good behavior in the future – charata al ha’avar v’kabbalah al ha’asid. The truth is, though, that there is a parallel version of teshuva which often gets forgotten. It gets forgotten even amongst those who live life with the purest intentions and know what it means to do real teshuva, and certainly amongst we who rationalize so many of the things we do, do teshuva once a year as part of the calendar, and are more inclined to think about and correct our errors in order to fit in socially and culturally than from introspection and becoming closer to Hashem. The parallel teshuva being referred to is that of forgiving oneself.

            Self acceptance and self forgiveness are absolutely essential for a person to be able to pick oneself up, brush off and keep on going. We are human and making mistakes is part of our DNA. We wake up late, make bad decisions, fail at what we try to do, hurt people, and forget important things. When these things happen, which they inevitably do, one could take one of two paths. On the one hand, one could look at the mess he or she is in and throw in the towel exclaiming, “What’s the point, I’ve already messed up today so the whole day is ruined.” “I already missed shacharis, so what’s the point of trying to make z’man kriyas shema?” “I already got upset today, so what’s the point trying to pretend I’m happy?” “I already ruined my project at home/school/work and am viewed as a failure so what’s the point trying to succeed?” “I have already slipped in one area of keeping Shabbos, so what’s the point of keeping kosher?” These are attitudes of dwelling in the past and not allowing oneself to move on. Of course one has to have the maturity and recognize one’s responsibility to acknowledge and accept making mistakes, and indeed one should feel bad for what he has done. However, after all that is done the final step is to overcome those feelings and actually use them as a springboard to motivate oneself to propel forward away from the spiral down and instead into the light of forgiveness and acceptance in order to have the energy to move forward. As people, and specifically as Jews, we not only have a duty to be good people in society and as b’nei Torah, not only have the obligation to recognize when we do things wrong and be accepting of judgment while we do teshuva, but we are also obligated to forgive ourselves and not dwell on our mistakes after Hashem has forgiven us, or even before to the extent that it grows from a charata to a feeling of hopelessness which prevents us from doing other things which we are supposed to do.

            When Aharon was appointed Kohen Gadol and was commanded to bring the karbanos on the mizbe’ach, it is true that he knew as well as everyone else that indeed he was chosen by Hashem to fill the position. Aharon had done teshuva for his involvement in the eigel ha’zahav and Hashem accepted the teshuva, but deep inside Aharon never felt over it. Despite having received teshuva, the knowledge that he had been willing to stoop so low to be involved in the eigel was something that he himself could not let go of so easily. The satan sensed this in Aharon and used that false image against him solidifying the idea in his head that the sin of the eigel was a stain that could never be washed away and therefore he was unworthy of doing anything to serve Hashem. This is precisely what Moshe realized and therefore told Aharon to approach the mizbe’ach, saying, “Go to the mizbe’ach! There is nothing to fear. After all, the whole reason to have charata about the eigel is because you sinned against Hashem, but it is Hashem Himself Who appointed you, Aharon, as kohen gadol and accepted your complete teshuva! What right do you have to be more machmir (strict) than Hashem? Is it Hashem that you are sorry you sinned against, or yourself?” With this reminder that he was misusing his middah of charata, Aharon indeed realized something that although he already knew was not yet internalized -  that Hashem had in fact forgiven him and if he would allow his own guilt to prevent him to do what Hashem was now commanding him to do, that itself would be a sin against Hashem.

            If a tzaddik like Aharon Ha’kohen could do everything in his power to achieve teshuva gemurah and yet still feel bad for the sin that he committed to the point that a feeling of hopelessness comes over and snowballs into potentially further heading down a dark path, then certainly when it comes to a regular person, one is susceptible to come out of a mess up in one area of life and allow it to snowball into a never ending chain of giving up with the thought of: “Once I already messed up A, what’s the point of even trying B?”.

            How many times do we find ourselves using the sentence pattern: “I would _______, except that I (am/did) _______”. Are these statements true? Or are they at their core a level of justification while one is entrapped in feelings of hopelessness?


            May Hashem help us not only be able to recognize our faults and do an honest teshuva, but also aid us so that we don’t get improperly stuck in the muck of charata to the point that it stops us from propelling ourselves forward. In the zechus (merit) of us doing the first steps of accepting responsibility and making growth-oriented goals for the future, may Hashem give us the strength to become accustomed to saying “I will” instead of “I would, except that…” so that we will achieve self acceptance and not fall into the downward spiral of hopelessness and self “exceptance”.




[1] Rashi Bamidbar 7:1
[2] Rashi Vayikra 9:1
[3] Ibid
[4] The karbon chatas was usually not a calf.
[5] Vayikra 9:7
[6] Rashi ibid
[7] Ibid
[8] Ibid
[9] See also the Ba’al Ha'Turim (9:7) who explains along similar lines that Aharon was afraid because of the cheit ha’eigel. However instead of writing that the satan appeared in the image of an eigel, he writes that Aharon saw the corners (karnei) of the mizbe’ach and saw it as the horns (karnei) of an ox.
[10] The Da’as Zekainim just say “appearance of an eigel”, but the Chizkuni writes, “like the appearance of the eigel”.

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