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Thoughts on the Parsha ~
Parshas Toldos
Rags to Riches
By: Daniel Listhaus
וַיְהִי יִצְחָק בֶּן אַרְבָּעִים שָׁנָה בְּקַחְתּוֹ אֶת
רִבְקָה בַּת בְּתוּאֵל הָאֲרַמִּי מִפַּדַּן אֲרָם אֲחוֹת לָבָן הָאֲרַמִּי לוֹ
לְאִשָּׁה: וַיֶּעְתַּר יִצְחָק לַה' לְנֹכַח אִשְׁתּוֹ כִּי עֲקָרָה הִוא וַיֵּעָתֶר לוֹ ה' וַתַּהַר רִבְקָה אִשְׁתּוֹ:
“Yitzchak was forty
years old when he took Rivkah, daughter of Besuel the Aramean from Paddan-Aram,
sister of Lavan the Aramean, as a wife for himself. Yitzchak entreated Hashem
opposite his wife, because she was barren. Hashem allowed Himself to be
entreated by him, and his wife Rivkah conceived.”
-Toldos 25:20-21
The
Torah tells us that Rivkah was barren. However, instead of simply writing “Rivkah”
in the passuk (verse), the Torah goes out of its way to describe her as,
“Rivkah, daughter of Besuel the Aramean, sister of Lavan”. Rashi[1]
explains that the reason the Torah does this here is in order to tell of Rivkah’s
praise, that despite being the daughter of a wicked person [Besuel] and the
sister of a wicked person [Lavan] and coming from a place of wicked people [Paddan-Aram],
she did not learn from their deeds and copy their wicked behaviors, rather she
became a tremendously righteous woman in her own right.
As
wonderful and praiseworthy as this is, it becomes problematic when read
alongside Rashi in the very next passuk. The passuk[2]
relates that both Yitzchak and Rivkah davened to Hashem asking Him to
allow them to have children. Yet, the passuk ends that Hashem answered
his [Yitzchak’s] tefillah (prayer). Rashi[3]
picks up on this and comments that Hashem indeed answered Yitzchak’s tefillah,
but not Rivkah’s, because the prayer of a tzaddik ben rasha (a righteous
person who is the child of a wicked person) is not comparable to the prayer of
a tzaddik ben tzaddik (a righteous person who is the child of a
righteous person). Therefore Hashem answered “his tefillah” and not
hers.
How
could we understand these two Rashi’s? At first Rashi seems to
praise those who, despite coming from less-privileged backgrounds, are able to persevere
on their own against the current and become great in their own right. Yet, Rashi
in the very next passuk seems to imply that no matter how far one
has come and worked on oneself, one who comes from a wicked house – a tzaddik
ben rasha – can never remove that stain and could therefore never achieve the
greatness that a tzaddik ben tzaddik can. How could we begin to
understand this concept? Imagine there are two people. One who was born into
wealth and took over a family business, and another who started off dirt-poor
and worked really hard his entire life until he built his own multi-million dollar
business. Although both may be equally successful, there is no question that
the latter stands out much more in terms of a story of self-motivation and perseverance.
Why when it comes to judging one’s righteousness would we assume differently? Yitzchak
was “lucky” to be born into the house of Avraham. He grew up witnessing
miracles, received a top quality religious education, was blessed with wealth,
and was honored by all. The expectation was that he would grow up to be Yitzchak
avinu. He had everything delivered to him on a silver platter. Rivkah
however was the proverbial entrepreneur with a “from-rags-to-riches” story. She
grew up amongst liars and cheaters, lived in a house of avodah zarrah (idol
worship), struggled to make a living, and yet was able to not only retain her
purity and good middos (traits), but was able to thrive in the worst environment
and become worthy to fulfill the role as mother to B’nei Yisroel. How
could Rashi explain that Hashem would overlook all this and instead
favor the one who came from a more privileged background? If anything it should
be the opposite! Rivkah, who struggled her whole life and had to
work extra hard to get to where she was at, should have been answered first by
Hashem?[4]
Perhaps
we could suggest an answer based on the following. On the one hand, it is true
that all things being equal, nothing could compare to a ba’al teshuva. One
who was brought up a certain way and decided to go against the grain and change
to become religious is much more praiseworthy than one who was just “born
into it”. As the Gemara[5]
states, “In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, complete tzaddikim
cannot stand.” However, there is a way for tzaddik ben tzaddik to
achieve even higher heights. The Chovos Halevavos[6]
writes that there are really two aspects to the mitzvos. One part is
simply the chovos ha’eivarim – the obligation we have to physically do
the mitzvos. For example, we must put on tzitzis and tefillin,
recite Shema, daven, learn Torah, make berachos (blessings),
blow shofar, sit in a succah (on Succos), and eat matzah (on
Pesach), just to name a few.. However, although it is objectively true that
keeping the 613 mitzvos is rather difficult, it is relatively easy for
one to get used to the schedule and routine, especially one who is born into a
religious family and in a religious community where there is a pressure
to do so, and where living a daily life as a Jew is normal and habitual. A
person could accomplish mitzvos and check them off daily like tasks on a
chore list, and indeed his reward will be good. However, there is a second
facet of performing mitzvos which more than just enhances them, but
rather compliments them, by adding a new dimension called chovos ha’levavos –
the duties of the heart. Chovos ha’levavos refers to the mindset of the
one performing the mitzvah. Is it being done simply because everyone
else is doing it or because of a love to fulfill the mitzvos of Hashem? The
heart defines the quality of the action.
Certainly one
who grows up in a house of a tzaddik has the incredible advantage of
habitually performing mitzvos from a young age. However, this advantage
could sometimes prove to be a disadvantage when it comes to the chovos ha’levavos
aspect of the mitzvos. It is much harder for one who was raised to go to
minyan daily and put on tefillin to do so with the same amount of
love and motivation as one who lived a non-religious life and then decided on his
own to become religious. A ba’al teshuva has a drive of love to perform mitzzvos
because it is self-built. The ba’al teshuva became as such because of
an appreciation and yearning he or she had for the mitzvos. Such
appreciation is harder to come by when one is “born into the system”. However,
one who is able to not only be born into being religious and having a family of
tzaddikim but is also able to achieve a level of ba’alei teshuva regarding
the chovos ha’levavos aspect of the mitzvos – has the best of
both worlds. For example, someone who was born
into a poor family but worked hard and amassed wealth will greatly appreciate what
he has; whereas oftentimes, someone who was raised in an affluent home will not
share that same appreciation. However, someone who despite his wealth could
come to the same realization and appreciation that having it is a privilege and
not a right, has accomplished an even more difficult challenge.
This was precisely the level that Yitzchak had achieved. He grew
up in the house of Avraham – in an atmosphere where it was easy to do the right
thing. Even though the world was still overwhelmingly polytheistic, Avraham had
created a bubble with his followers where they were able to live lives of
keeping the mitzvos while at the same time earning a tremendous amount
of respect by the kings and princes of the various countries and their
populations. It was easy for Yitzchak, as a tzaddik ben tzaddik, to excel
in the area of chovos ha’eivvarim but far more difficult to perfect his chovos
ha’levavos and appreciate the lifestyle to the point of being
self-motivated to do the mitzvos out of pure love for Hashem. Yet, he
accomplished this to the fullest extent. This is why when Yitzchak and Rivkah
were both davening to Hashem, the tefillos of Yitzchak deserved
to be answered first; because although in a place where a ba’al teshuva stands
a tzaddik cannot, but in a place where a tzaddik ben tzaddik is
able to achieve the level of pure love for Hashem and His mitzvos despite
growing up with it and easily being able to perform them out of route, nothing
is greater.
Baruch Hashem, many of us have the privilege
of being born into religious frum homes. Furthermore, we have the
incredible benefit of living in a modern world where keeping shabbos is
easy, keeping kosher is easy, and there is religious freedom. However,
we must keep in mind that the chovos ha’eivarim of going through the
motions of the mitzvos is only one side of the coin, it must be
completed with the proper chovos ha’levavos. We must train ourselves to
have a true appreciation for the mitzvos and a self-developed love for
Torah.
May Hashem help us excel in the area of chovos ha’levavos and
with that zechus (merit) may He answer the tefillos of B’nei
Yisroel as He did for Yitzchak.
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