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Thoughts on the Parsha ~
Parshas Toldos
Rags to Riches
By: Daniel Listhaus
וַיְהִי יִצְחָק בֶּן אַרְבָּעִים שָׁנָה
בְּקַחְתּוֹ אֶת רִבְקָה בַּת בְּתוּאֵל הָאֲרַמִּי מִפַּדַּן אֲרָם אֲחוֹת לָבָן
הָאֲרַמִּי לוֹ לְאִשָּׁה: וַיֶּעְתַּר יִצְחָק לַה' לְנֹכַח אִשְׁתּוֹ כִּי
עֲקָרָה הִוא וַיֵּעָתֶר לוֹ ה' וַתַּהַר רִבְקָה אִשְׁתּוֹ:
“Yitzchak was forty
years old when he took Rivkah, daughter of Besuel the Aramean from Paddan-Aram,
sister of Lavan the Aramean, as a wife for himself. Yitzchak entreated Hashem
opposite his wife, because she was barren. Hashem allowed Himself to be
entreated by him, and his wife Rivkah conceived.”
-Toldos 25:20-21
The
Torah tells us that Rivkah was barren. However, instead of simply writing
“Rivkah” in the passuk (verse), the Torah goes out of its way to
describe her as, “Rivkah, daughter of Besuel the Aramean, sister of Lavan”. Rashi[1]
explains that the reason the Torah does this here is in order to tell of
Rivkah’s praise, that despite being the daughter of a wicked person [Besuel]
and the sister of a wicked person [Lavan] and coming from a place of wicked
people [Paddan-Aram], she did not learn from their deeds and copy their wicked
behaviors, rather she became a tremendously righteous woman in her own right.
As
wonderful and praiseworthy as this is, it becomes problematic when read
alongside Rashi in the very next passuk. The passuk[2]
relates that both Yitzchak and Rivkah davened to Hashem asking Him to
allow them to have children. Yet, the passuk ends that Hashem answered
his [Yitzchak’s] tefillah (prayer). Rashi[3]
picks up on this and comments that Hashem indeed answered Yitzchak’s tefillah,
but not Rivkah’s, because the prayer of a tzaddik ben rasha (a righteous
person who is the child of a wicked person) is not comparable to the prayer of
a tzaddik ben tzaddik (a righteous person who is the child of a
righteous person). Therefore Hashem answered “his tefillah” and not
hers.
How
could we understand these two Rashi’s? At first Rashi seems to
praise those who, despite coming from less-privileged backgrounds, are able to
persevere on their own against the current and become great in their own right.
Yet, Rashi in the very next passuk seems to imply that no matter
how far one has come and worked on oneself, one who comes from a wicked house –
a tzaddik ben rasha – can never remove that stain and could therefore
never achieve the greatness that a tzaddik ben tzaddik can. How could we
begin to understand this concept? Imagine there are two people. One who was
born into wealth and took over a family business, and another who started off
dirt-poor and worked really hard his entire life until he built his own
multi-million dollar business. Although both may be equally successful, there
is no question that the latter stands out much more in terms of a story of
self-motivation and perseverance. Why when it comes to judging one’s
righteousness would we assume differently? Yitzchak was “lucky” to be born into
the house of Avraham. He grew up witnessing miracles, received a top quality
religious education, was blessed with wealth, and was honored by all. The
expectation was that he would grow up to be Yitzchak avinu. He had
everything delivered to him on a silver platter. Rivkah however was the
proverbial entrepreneur with a “from-rags-to-riches” story. She grew up amongst
liars and cheaters, lived in a house of avodah zarrah (idol worship),
struggled to make a living, and yet was able to not only retain her purity and
good middos (traits), but was able to thrive in the worst environment
and become worthy to fulfill the role as mother to B’nei Yisroel. How
could Rashi explain that Hashem would overlook all this and instead
favor the one who came from a more privileged background? If anything it should
be the opposite! Rivkah, who struggled her whole life and had to
work extra hard to get to where she was at, should have been answered first by
Hashem?[4]
Perhaps
we could suggest an answer based on the following. On the one hand, it is true
that all things being equal, nothing could compare to a ba’al teshuva.
One who was brought up a certain way and decided to go against the grain and
change to become religious is much more praiseworthy than one who was
just “born into it”. As the Gemara[5]
states, “In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, complete tzaddikim
cannot stand.” However, there is a way for tzaddik ben tzaddik to
achieve even higher heights. The Chovos Halevavos[6]
writes that there are really two aspects to the mitzvos. One part is
simply the chovos ha’eivarim – the obligation we have to physically do
the mitzvos. For example, we must put on tzitzis and tefillin,
recite Shema, daven, learn Torah, make berachos (blessings),
blow shofar, sit in a succah (on Succos), and eat matzah (on
Pesach), just to name a few. However, although it is objectively true that
keeping the 613 mitzvos is rather difficult, it is relatively easy for
one to get used to the schedule and routine, especially one who is born into a
religious family and in a religious community where there is a pressure
to do so, and where living a daily life as a Jew is normal and habitual. A
person could accomplish mitzvos and check them off daily like tasks on a
chore list, and indeed his reward will be good. However, there is a second
facet of performing mitzvos which more than just enhances them, but
rather compliments them, by adding a new dimension called chovos ha’levavos –
the duties of the heart. Chovos ha’levavos refers to the mindset of the
one performing the mitzvah. Is it being done simply because everyone
else is doing it or because of a love to fulfill the mitzvos of Hashem?
The heart defines the quality of the action.
Certainly one
who grows up in a house of a tzaddik has the incredible advantage of
habitually performing mitzvos from a young age. However, this advantage
could sometimes prove to be a disadvantage when it comes to the chovos
ha’levavos aspect of the mitzvos. It is much harder for one who was
raised to go to minyan daily and put on tefillin to do so with
the same amount of love and motivation as one who lived a non-religious life
and then decided on his own to become religious. A ba’al teshuva has a
drive of love to perform mitzzvos because it is self-built. The ba’al
teshuva became as such because of an appreciation and yearning he or she
had for the mitzvos. Such appreciation is harder to come by when one is
“born into the system”. However, one who is able to not only be born into being
religious and having a family of tzaddikim but is also able to achieve a
level of ba’alei teshuva regarding the chovos ha’levavos aspect
of the mitzvos – has the best of both worlds. For example, someone who was born into a poor family but worked
hard and amassed wealth will greatly appreciate what he has; whereas
oftentimes, someone who was raised in an affluent home will not share that same
appreciation. However, someone who despite his wealth could come to the same
realization and appreciation that having it is a privilege and not a right, has
accomplished an even more difficult challenge.
This was precisely the level that Yitzchak had achieved. He grew
up in the house of Avraham – in an atmosphere where it was easy to do the right
thing. Even though the world was still overwhelmingly polytheistic, Avraham had
created a bubble with his followers where they were able to live lives of
keeping the mitzvos while at the same time earning a tremendous amount
of respect by the kings and princes of the various countries and their
populations. It was easy for Yitzchak, as a tzaddik ben tzaddik, to
excel in the area of chovos ha’eivvarim but far more difficult to
perfect his chovos ha’levavos and appreciate the lifestyle to the point
of being self-motivated to do the mitzvos out of pure love for Hashem.
Yet, he accomplished this to the fullest extent. This is why when Yitzchak and
Rivkah were both davening to Hashem, the tefillos of Yitzchak
deserved to be answered first; because although in a place where a ba’al
teshuva stands a tzaddik cannot, but in a place where a tzaddik
ben tzaddik is able to achieve the level of pure love for Hashem and His mitzvos
despite growing up with it and easily being able to perform them out of
route, nothing is greater.
Baruch Hashem, many of us have the privilege
of being born into religious frum homes. Furthermore, we have the
incredible benefit of living in a modern world where keeping shabbos is
easy, keeping kosher is easy, and there is religious freedom. However,
we must keep in mind that the chovos ha’eivarim of going through the
motions of the mitzvos is only one side of the coin, it must be
completed with the proper chovos ha’levavos. We must train ourselves to
have a true appreciation for the mitzvos and a self-developed love for
Torah.
May Hashem help us excel in the area of chovos ha’levavos and
with that zechus (merit) may He answer the tefillos of B’nei
Yisroel as He did for Yitzchak.
