Parshas Vayechi - I Thought That You Thought

~ Thoughts on the Parsha ~

Parshas Vayechi

I Thought That You Thought

By: Daniel Listhaus

וַיִּקַּח יוֹסֵף אֶת שְׁנֵיהֶם אֶת אֶפְרַיִם בִּימִינוֹ מִשְּׂמֹאל יִשְׂרָאֵל וְאֶת מְנַשֶּׁה בִשְׂמֹאלוֹ מִימִין יִשְׂרָאֵל וַיַּגֵּשׁ אֵלָיו: וַיִּשְׁלַח יִשְׂרָאֵל אֶת יְמִינוֹ וַיָּשֶׁת עַל רֹאשׁ אֶפְרַיִם וְהוּא הַצָּעִיר וְאֶת שְׂמֹאלוֹ עַל רֹאשׁ מְנַשֶּׁה שִׂכֵּל אֶת יָדָיו כִּי מְנַשֶּׁה הַבְּכוֹר

“And Yosef took the two of them – Ephraim with his right hand, to Yisroel's [Yaakov's] left, and Menasheh, with his left, to Yisroel's right – and he drew close to him. But Yisroel extended his right hand and laid it on Ephraim's head though he was younger and his left hand on Menasheh's head. He moved his hands with intelligence, for Menasheh was the first born.”

-Vayechi 48:13-14

            The Torah^[1] carefully details the way that Yosef came to Yaakov with his sons, Menasheh and Ephraim. Menasheh was the older son and Yosef knew that he would be getting the bigger bracha (blessing). Ephraim, on the other hand,^[2] was younger and would therefore be secondary. For this reason, Yosef deliberately approached Yaakov with Menasheh on his own left and Ephraim on the right. This way, when they would be facing Yaakov opposite them, they would be in the proper mirror-imaged position, with Menasheh on Yaakov's right and Ephraim on his left.            

            However, much to Yosef's surprise, Yaakov crossed his hands and put his right hand on Ephraim, who was on his left, and his left hand on Menasheh, the older son, who was on Yaakov's right. At this point in time, as an on-looker, one would think that Yosef would just allow Yaakov to give the brachos according to the way he felt was proper. Yet, as the Torah continues to relate, Yosef's reaction was quite different, and a rather weird conversation erupted between Yaakov and Yosef.

            The passuk (verse)^[3] tells us that when Yaakov crossed his hands, Yosef was very displeased and said, “Not so, Father, for this is the firstborn; place your right hand on his head”^[4]. While saying so, Yosef actually started lifting Yaakov's hand to remove it from Ephraim's head in order to put it on Menasheh's. Yaakov, however, remained steadfast and insisted on his right hand being on Ephraim's head. His response to Yosef was simply, “I know my son, I know.”^[5]

            This event is very puzzling and hard to understand. First-of-all, Yaakov surely knew what he was doing, so why was Yosef questioning the way that Yaakov was giving the brachos? Had he merely switched their positions, one might make the mistake to think that Yaakov was just confused. However, an action as deliberate as swapping his hands seems to demonstrate a perfect knowledge of the situation and what Yaakov's intent was.

            Also, how did Yaakov explain his actions? Yosef had asked him to switch his hands back the right way, and Yaakov just responded, “I know my son, I know”, but didn't do anything about it. How did this terse response satisfy Yosef's request?^[6]

            The Rashbam^[7] sheds light on this difficult conversation by explaining as follows. When Yaakov switched his hands and put his right hand on Ephraim's head, Yosef was deeply upset. As the Da'as Zekainim^[8] explains, Yosef was thinking to himself, “My father thinks I am a fool. He thinks that when I came to him with my children that I had Menasheh on my own right and Ephraim on my left, like I usually do since Menasheh is my older son. He does not realize that I thought ahead and specifically came before him with Menasheh on my left and Ephraim on my right in order that when facing Yaakov, they would be in the correct position for Menasheh, the older son, to be the recipient of the right hand.” Yosef therefore spelled this out to Yaakov and said, “Despite the way you think I came to you, with my sons aligned from my perspective, that is not the way I did it. I had the brains to place them in order from your perspective so that they would be properly matched to your hands – with the firstborn adjacent to your right hand.”

            To this, Yaakov responded, “I know my son, I know”. The Rashbam continues to explain that the message that Yaakov was conveying to Yosef was the following, “I know, Yosef, that you are a chochom (wise person) and that you came to me with your children in the correct placements with Menasheh on my right and Ephraim on my left, yet, nevertheless, I am purposely placing my right hand on Ephraim.”

            Although this Rashbam does clear up many things for us, it is still difficult to comprehend. When Yosef saw Yaakov switch his hands and put his right hand on Ephraim, why did Yosef think that Yaakov thought that he was not smart. Why was it that the first possible explanation that could come to Yosef's mind was that his father considered him incompetent of planing in advance? In the end of the day, that was not the reason that Yaakov had switched his hands. So, why was it that the only reason that Yosef, who had a great relationship with his father even after being separated for many years, could come up with was that Yaakov had reversed his hands because he took Yosef to be a fool? What a strange conclusion for Yosef to draw!

            There is a famous article written by Frank Koch, in the U.S Naval Institute Proceedings,^[9] which goes as follows:

           “Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.

           Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing reported, “Light, bearing on the starboard bow.”
           “Is it steady or moving astern?” the captain called out.
           The lookout replied, “Steady, Captain,” which meant we were on a dangerous collision course with that ship.
           The captain then called to the signalman, “Signal that ship: 'We are on a collision course, advise you change course twenty degrees.'”

           Back came the signal, “Advisable for you to change course twenty degrees.”
           The captain said, “Send: “I'm a captain, change course twenty degrees.'”
           “I'm a seaman second-class,” came the reply. “You had better change course twenty degrees.”
           By that time the captain was furious. He spat out, “Send: 'I'm a battleship. Change course twenty degrees.'"
           Back came the flashing light, “I'm a lighthouse.”
We changed course.”

            Often-times we enter situations with an idea already in our heads as to how the scenario is supposed to play out. When out at sea, the captain was perhaps expecting to come across some ships in his path, but was not expecting a lighthouse. Therefore when he was communicating with what he thought was an on-coming ship, every possible idea came to mind as to how this 'second-class seaman' could have the audacity to talk back to him. Yet, the possibility that this other ship may be a lighthouse, was not something that he was anticipating and was therefore deemed an impossibility to enter his mind. It took the lighthouse staring him in his face, and its operator telling him that he better listen or he will be a sunk battleship, to finally be convinced that although he was not expecting there to be a lighthouse in his way, it was a reality that now needed to be faced.

            We are only privy to our own thoughts and perspectives. It takes a tremendous amount of open-mildness and objectivity to remove ourselves from the various influences that effect us. Every person's history, thought processes, and intentions are so different from each other. The way we perceive others is therefore not based on what they said, did, or thought, but rather what we heard, saw, or thought they thought.

            With this understanding, perhaps we could now better grasp Yosef's reasoning. Yosef knew the way that giving brachos worked, or at least he thought he did. Surely a bedtime story favorite of his was when Yaakov would tell him the story of how he had to buy the bechor (right to the first-born) from Eisav and how he had to deceive Yitzchak, upon Rivka's wishes through ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit from Hashem), in order to be considered the firstborn and befitting of receiving the brachos. Based on Yosef's comprehension, when he came to Yaakov with Menasheh and Ephraim for their brachos, it was so obvious to him that Yaakov's right hand should go on Menasheh's head. Therefore, when Yaakov criss-crossed his hands, the only possible explanation that Yosef could think of was that his father thought he was a fool. What other explanation could there be for Yaakov reversing his hands other than if Yaakov thought that Yosef had brought Menasheh on Yosef's own right, which would be Yaakov's left. It could not have been that Ephraim was really the one meant to get the bigger bracha, that was an impossibility because that is not the way the “happily ever after” story was supposed to end.

            This is something that occurs to us more often than not. It is quite often that after a misunderstanding between two parties, each side finds themselves thinking: “I thought that he thought that I thought”. Imagine how much clearer our eyesight would be if we were able to train ourselves not to think for others.

            As hard as it may be, we must admit that we are seeing an entire world through our eyes only. We must realize that we are constantly forcing our definitions and explanations into what others say, think, and do. From each of our vantage points, we consider ourselves like the captain of a ship and that we outrank anyone else's opinions. However, we must realize that as much as we are captains, there are things about others which we just cannot see past the fog that separates us as individuals.

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[1]    Beraishis 48:13-14

[2]    Excuse the pun.

[3]    Beraishis 48:17

[4]    Beraishis 48:18

[5]    Beraishis 48:19

[6]    Perhaps if Yaakov was British it would be understandable because they are known to say, “I say, I say!” without actually saying anything.

[7]    Beraishis 48:17

[8]   Ibid.

[9]   Koch, Frank. “Pulling Rank”. Proceedings. November 1987. (pg. 81)