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Thoughts on the Parsha ~
Parshas Vayeitzei
Considerable Consideration:
Pareidolia and The Way of a
Tzaddik
By: Daniel Listhaus
וַיֹּאמֶר לָהֶם יַעֲקֹב אַחַי
מֵאַיִן אַתֶּם וַיֹּאמְרוּ מֵחָרָן אֲנָחְנוּ: וַיֹּאמֶר לָהֶם הַיְדַעְתֶּם אֶת
לָבָן בֶּן נָחוֹר וַיֹּאמְרוּ יָדָעְנוּ: וַיֹּאמֶר לָהֶם הֲשָׁלוֹם לוֹ
וַיֹּאמְרוּ שָׁלוֹם וְהִנֵּה רָחֵל בִּתּוֹ בָּאָה עִם הַצֹּאן:
וַיֹּאמֶר הֵן
עוֹד הַיּוֹם גָּדוֹל לֹא עֵת הֵאָסֵף הַמִּקְנֶה הַשְׁקוּ הַצֹּאן וּלְכוּ רְעוּ
“Yaakov said to them,
'My brothers, where are you from?' And they said, 'We are from Charan.' He said
to them, 'Do you know Lavan the son of Nachor?' And they said, 'We know.' Then
he said to them, 'Is it well with him?' They said, 'It is well; and see – his
daughter Rachel is coming with the flock!'”
-Vayeitzei 29:4-7
The
Torah describes that Yaakov found himself by a well in a field. At that well,
Yaakov saw three flocks of sheep alongside their shepherds, who were just
hanging around seemingly wasting their time. Yaakov approached them and asked
where they were from. When they responded they were from Charan, he asked if
they knew Lavan and if everything was well by him. They confirmed that indeed
Lavan was doing well, and they proceeded to point out that Lavan's daughter,
Rachel, happened to have been coming to the well at that very moment. The passuk
(verse) continues to state that Yaakov then asked them why they were just
sitting around and not watering their flocks. They answered that as much as
they wanted to, they could not, because there was a large stone blocking the
well which they were unable to roll off until the other shepherds would come
with their flocks, and only together would the stone be able to be removed. The
passuk then continues that while Yaakov was still speaking to the shepherds,
Rachel had come and when Yaakov saw her, he immediately stepped forward and rolled
the stone off in order for Rachel to be able to water her father's sheep.
There
are a few interesting things about this event and a couple of lessons to take
to heart. After all, the purpose of the Torah is not to relate history or to be
a storybook but rather to teach us good middos (character traits) and
mitzvos. Clearly the Torah details the conversation between Yaakov avinu
and the shepherds in order for us to learn how to act properly.
The
S'forno[1]
writes that in Yaakov's mind it was extremely important for him to know how
Lavan was doing before just showing up at his front door. After all, it is not
proper for a guest to come unannounced to someone's house without at least
knowing what is going on there. Perhaps the host is in the middle of a simcha
(happy occasion) or some other event, whether good or bad, that may be
preoccupying his mind. If that were to be the case it would not be nice for a
guest to barge in and steal the spotlight or divert the host's attention.
The
problem with this is that the S'forno does not seem to be taking
Yaakov's situation into account. Keep in mind, Yaakov was not going to his
uncle Lavan's house for a shabbaton (weekend retreat) or family
vacation; he was running away from his brother who had threatened to murder
him. Additionally, as if Yaakov's life was not difficult enough, he bumped into
his nephew, Eliphaz, Eisav's son, along the way who robbed him of everything he
had.[2]
Yaakov desperately needed a place to stay, food to eat, work to make money, and
a wife to marry. Would it be so unreasonable for Yaakov to show up at Lavan's
door with just the shirt on his back and ask for a place to stay? Was it really
necessary for him to stop to ask about Lavan's well being before seeing him?
As
mentioned above, when the Torah finishes the dialogue between Yaakov and the
shepherds and mentions that Rachel came to the well, the Torah testifies that
it was only at that moment that Yaakov chose to remove the large rock from on
top of the well – a feat that even the three shepherds could not accomplish.[3]
The S'forno[4]
is bothered at this point with the following. If indeed Yaakov had the strength
to move the stone off the well, then why did he wait for Rachel to come before
he rolled it off? Why did he not do so originally to help out the three
shepherds who were there with their flocks?
The
S'forno therefore comments that it must be that Yaakov did not want to
roll the stone off the well for the three shepherds. When Yaakov asked the
shepherds why they were just sitting around, they responded that they needed to
wait for the other shepherds to come in order to roll the stone off together.
Therefore, Yaakov did not want to roll the stone off for them because he was
concerned that if he would do so, the shepherds would water their flock and
leave instead of waiting around to help out the other shepherds they were
originally waiting for. Clearly Yaakov avinu was not merely listening
attentively to the words the shepherds were telling him, but was even in-tuned
to how his actions would affect those who were not even present.
This
S'forno too is difficult to understand. Why did Yaakov have to involve
himself so intricately into the business of the shepherds? He chanced upon a situation which called for
his simple help, yet he went above and beyond. Yaakov took into account all the
details and information thinking about even those who he had never met and
would never meet. Imagine if Yaakov would have rolled the stone off and indeed
the three shepherds would have watered their own flock and then left before the
others came. Would it have been the end of the world? The other shepherds would
have probably been confused how the stone was removed from the well, but other
than that they would have just watered their own flocks by themselves. Yet
Yaakov did not want to roll of the stone because usually the shepherds would
have all helped each other, so he did not want to be a cause of taking away the
extra help that the other shepherds were used to getting. Only when the
curve-ball was pitched and Rachel entered the equation did Yaakov have to
re-calculate and decide that, for Rachel, the right thing to do would be to
remove the rock. However, was it really necessary for Yaakov to care so much to
make personal calculations how his actions would affect every single person?
Once again, he had much more important things to worry about than the feelings
and effort of people he never met. He was running away from Eisav with
absolutely nothing to his name. Why did Yaakov go the extra mile to what seems
like an extreme care of others at this particular point?
There
is a fascinating phenomenon, which seems to be programmed into every
individual, called pareidolia. Although the concept is broad, there is one
facet of it which almost every person could relate to. Namely, the ability of
people to recognizes faces in many objects. For example, take a look at the
electric outlet in your wall, you will see two gasping 'uh-oh' faces staring
back at you. Look at the front of any car and you could determine its imaginary
character by the way its headlights, hood, and bumper are shaped and sized.
Whether it be food arranged on a plate, holes in a tree, or windows on a house,
people tend to see faces in common objects all over the place. Yet, as much fun
we have pointing out these imaginary faces and putting our own comments in
like, “look at that angry oriental-man-car zooming down the street” or “that
house looks quite tired with its eyes half closed (shades down halfway on the
upstairs windows)”, we tend to often ignore the feelings and story behind real
faces. Despite global warming, there is a certain coldness and aloofness which
is taking over the world. Friends are for Facebook and emotions go no further
than an emoticon in a text message. Everything is virtual, everything is fake.
Rarely is someone laughing when they write LOL and rarely does one really care
about what one of his Facebook friends is doing, except out of jealousy or to
make sure to do something cooler and better. There is no question that it is
becoming increasingly uncommon to find a person who genuinely cares about how
others are doing.
Yaakov
avinu, on the other hand represents exactly the opposite. Despite the
fact that he was being hunted by his brother and trying to move to the next
stage of his life, Yaakov still paid a tremendous amount of attention to even
the little details when it came to caring for others; his asking about Lavan's
well-being before barging in, and his being able to stand in the shoes of
people he never met in order to determine how his potential actions would affect
them, were things that were so important to Yaakov that even his hard situation
would not stop him from behaving in ways he deemed as sub-human. It would have
been so easy to throw in the towel and feel that he had a right to knock on
Lavan's door and ask to stay there. It would have been fine to not go so far as
to worry about the possible extra effort that the shepherds who were coming
later might have to exert. However that was not Yaakov. Yaakov is our role
model as one of our avos, and demonstrated how we, as people who were
created b'tzelem Elokim, are expected to act towards others.
May
Hashem help us recognize Yaakov avinu as our role model and in turn
allow us to mend the three legs that the world stands on - Torah, avodah,
and gamillas chasadim (kindness),[5]
and push away the three things which are currently destroying it – kinnah (jealousy),
taivah (lust), and kavod (honor).[6]
[1] S'forno Beraishis 29:6
[2] See Rashi Beraishis 29:11. Eliphaz
was really coming on Eisav's orders to kill Yaakov. However, Eliphaz found
himself in a conflict because on the one hand Eliphaz loved Yaakov, but on the
other hand, he felt he had to carry out his father's wishes. So, they
“compromised” and Eliphaz robbed Yaakov of everything because someone with no
possessions is considered to be dead.
[3] See Rabbeinu Bachayei 29:10 who
writes that Yaakov was so strong that even though he was exhausted from
traveling, he was able to lift the stone off the well, while three shepherds
who evidently had not even started their day's work yet, were not able to budge
it.
[4] S'forno Beraishis 29:10
[5] See Avos 1:2
[6] See Avos 4:28
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