Parshas Vayishlach - We Don't Negotiate With Terrorists

Parshas Vayishlach

We Don't Negotiate With Terrorists

By: Daniel Listhaus

“The angels returned to Yaakov, saying, 'We came to your brother, To Eisav; moreover, he is heading toward you, and four-hundred men are with him. And Yaakov became very frightened, and it distressed him....”

-Vayishlach 32:7-8

Yaakov avinu had sent messenger angels to explore what was happening with his brother Eisav. When the angels returned and told Yaakov that Eisav was coming with four-hundred men with him, the passuk describes that Yaakov suddenly became afraid. Rashi¹ and the Sifsei Chachomim² explain that Yaakov was afraid that Eisav might kill him and his family. Yaakov was also distressed over the fact that if Eisav would try to kill him, he would be permitted to kill Eisav in self-defense. This would obviously bring an incredible amount of pain and suffering to their father, Yitzchak; something which Yaakov surely would rather avoid.

The Kli Yakar³ is bothered by the following question. Why was Yaakov suddenly afraid? Hashem had promised Yaakov multiple times⁴ that He would be with him and protect his family from harm. Now, Yaakov was certainly a person who had complete trust in Hashem, so why was it that Yaakov felt uncomfortable with the fact that Eisav was coming with an army of four-hundred men? Didn't Yaakov represent that which it says in Tehillim⁵, “...Some with chariots, and some with horses; but we call out in the name of Hashem our G-d. They dropped to their knees and fell, but we arose and were invigorated.”? Surely Yaakov understood that if one aligns his ratzon with the ratzon Hashem, as he did, then any opponent is really an opponent of Hashem. Yaakov should have had an indifferent attitude towards Eisav's army coming. So, why was Yaakov afraid?

The Torah tells us that when Yaakov originally sent the messenger angels before him to see what Eisav was up to, Yaakov prepared a speech for them to give to Eisav from him: “To my lord, to Eisav, so said your servant Yaakov: 'I have sojourned with lavan and have lingered until now. I have acquired ox and donkey, flock, servants, and maidservants, and I am sending to tell my lord to find favor in your eyes.'”⁶ On this, the Medrash⁷ writes that when Yaakov calling Eisav his master, it was as if he degraded that which was Holy. Flattering Eisav was the incorrect thing to do in this circumstance.

The Gemara⁸ brings a series of statements of R' Elazer regarding the bad effects of flattery. One of these is, “Whoever flatters his friend will end up falling into his hand.” Using all of this, the Kli Yakar explains that this was the cause for Yaakov's fear. Yaakov debased himself and that which he stood for, by calling himself 'a servant to Eisav his master'. He therefore feared that because of this Hashem would choose not to help him in battle.

This Kli Yakar and Medrash are difficult to understand. What did Yaakov do wrong that he should have to worry about? Last he remembered, Eisav was threatening to kill him, and Yaakov was forced to run away from home. Yaakov knew that Eisav would still be upset with him for taking the berachos away from him, so he was just trying to be as nice as possible to his twin. Furthermore, it is not like Yaakov explicitly said that he viewed Eisav as his master, he just sent the messenger angels to say this to Eisav in order to abate his anger towards Yaakov. So, according to the Kli Yakar, why did Yaakov think that it was a mistake on his part to call Eisav “my master”, to the extent that it would be considered like a sin, to be a valid reason to worry that Hashem would not help him in battle?

The Orchos Tzadikkim⁹ writes that flattery could be divided into nine parts. One of these discusses that it is abominable to flatter a wicked person. If one praises a rasha, then one is also condoning the actions and beliefs of that rasha. Flattering and praising people who go against the word of Hashem, is equivalent to going against Hashem oneself. This is besides the fact that one who flatters a rasha is transgressing on mitzvos m'd'oraiysa¹⁰.

This is what the Kli Yakar is teaching us. Flattery is not something to take lightly. We may rationalize with ourselves to say how bad could it be already to flatter someone? I am merely “patting him on the back” so he does not bother me. The truth is, however, that when one flatters someone he is not just acknowledging what he is doing, but even implying that it is okay to do.

This is why Yaakov was afraid. At the time of sending the messenger angels, it seemed like a good idea to call Eisav his master. However, once the angels returned and told Yaakov that Eisav was coming with an army, Yaakov realized and regretted that which he had said, and was now concerned for his life.

Several passukim later in the parsha, the passuk tells us, “And Yaakov was left alone and a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn.”¹¹ Rashi¹² tells us that this “man” was the ministering angel of Eisav. The passukim describe that this malach tried to overcome Yaakov. When he realized he was not able to do so, he dislocated the ball of Yaakov's thighbone. When dawn came, the malach wanted to leave but Yaakov said, “I will not go until you have blessed me.” Rashi¹³ explains that Yaakov was telling the malach that he will not let him go until he concedes that Yaakov rightfully received the berachos from Yitzchak. In response, the malach asked, “What is your name?” The malach then told Yaakov that his new name will be Yisroel.

When reading these passukim, many questions come to mind. First, why did Yaakov want so badly that the angel of Eisav admit that Yaakov had taken the berachos rightfully? Did Yaakov feel insecure or unsure if he did the right thing? Certainly this cannot be. Yaakov's taking the berachos was not his own bold decision, it was a joint decision of him and his mother, Rivka, who had seen b'ruach Hakodesh that Yaakov was meant to get the berachos. So why was Yaakov so insistent that the malach admit this to him? It should not have mattered to Yaakov what the malach thought. Regardless, taking the berachos was the correct thing to do.

Second, the malach never answered Yaakov's question. He answered by asking what Yaakov's name was. Why was the malach changing the subject, and why did Yaakov fall for the trick so easily? If Yaakov wanted an admittance that he deserved the berachos, how did the malach changing Yaakov's name to Yisroel fulfill Yaakov's condition in letting the malach go?

Additionally, why did the malach tell Yaakov at this point that his name would be changed to Yisroel? Hashem did not come to change his name until a little later¹⁴. Was the malach just giving Yaakov a sneak-preview, or was there a specific reason why he was telling this to Yaakov now?

Furthermore, the Steipler¹⁵ raises another interesting issue. The Gemara¹⁶ tells us that after Hashem changed Avram's name to Avraham and Sarai to Sarah, we are no longer allowed to refer to them by their previous names. Now, Yaakov's name was changed to Yisroel. Yet, the Torah refers to him as Yaakov after this event and we certainly refer to him as Yaakov while davening¹⁷. Why is it that the same rule of not being allow to refer to the previous name does not apply in Yaakov's case?¹⁸

Perhaps these questions could all be answered with the following. Immediately after Yaakov called Eisav “adonee” (my master), the malach of Eisav saw this as an opportunity to overcome and defeat Yaakov. The malach had caught Yaakov off-guard – l'vado (alone) because Yaakov had referred to Eisav as his master. By Yaakov saying that, it was comparable to saying that what Eisav does is righteous. Through flattering Eisav the rasha, Yaakov was, to a small degree, compromising ratzon Hashem and causing a chilul Hashem. The malach of Eisav wanted to take this opportunity, when Yaakov was alone and weak, to destroy him. However, this time Yaakov passed the test. He did not fear the malach; and knowing that it represented Eisav, Yaakov fought against it and demonstrated power over it. Then, Yaakov refused to let the malach loose until it admitted its rightful place. Yaakov told it to admit to him that he was indeed the master because the berachos were rightfully delivered to him. In response to this, the malach replied that Yaakov's name would be changed to Yisroel. In other words, the malach was essentially admitting that Yaakov's actions were true and that he would from now be called Yisroel (ישרא-ל), the Kli Yakar¹⁹ explains, is a compound word derived from the words yashar and keil (ישר א-ל)²⁰ . Through fighting the battle with the malach, Yaakov passed the test of being completely yashar in the eyes of Hashem, by removing Eisav from the position of “master” and putting back under control as a servant.

Names are a fascinating thing. We are all familiar with the fact that the names we are given at the time of bris milah are given through ruach hakodesh. This name, our real name, defines who we really are and what our purpose in life is. There is another type of name, however, which one could achieve during one's lifetime; almost like a title. Perhaps this is the answer to the difference between the change of Avram's name to Avraham and the change of Yaakov's name to Yisroel. The Torah²¹ tells us that Hashem took Avraham and Sarah out of their mazals and redefined who they were. Before their names were changed, they were unable to have children. When Hashem changed the names of Avraham and Sarah, they became completely new people. Yaakov's name changing to Yisroel, on the other hand, was not a change in Yaakov as a person. Rather, it represented the level that he achieved of not being someone who was yashar keil. Yaakov realized his mistake of slightly compromising kavod Hashem by calling Eisav his master, and proved himself by forcing the malach of Eisav to admit that Yaakov had passed this test and is now a Yisroel.²²

As Jews, we are called b'nei Yisroel (sons of Yisroel). We must realize our place in society. In galus, without a Beis Hamikdash, we must appease the “Eisav's” of our times and keep them happy enough to leave us alone. We could send them presents and we could pretend to be their “slaves”. However, to call Eisav our master is a step too far. Our job is to follow ratzon Hashem and bring kiddush shem shamayim into the world. Condoning anything which opposes this is committing suicide. The Eisav in our midst acts as a terrorist trying to make us believe that we are subject to him and not Hashem. Eisav tries to convince us – either with his armies or with his love – that we must follow him and that he is our master. Our job, though, is to make sure we are not flattering Eisav. Appeasement is one thing, flattery is another. Eisav tries to destroy us and pull us away from doing ratzon Hashem. In essence, he is a terrorist, and we do not negotiate with terrorists.

1Beraishis 32:8

2Ibid.

3Ibid.

4Once by the dream of the ladder, and then again while at Lavan's house.

5Tehillim 20:8-9. We also say this as part of weekday shacharis between ashrei and uva l'tzion

6Beraishis 32:5-6

7Beraishis Rabbah 75:2

8Sotah 41b

9Orchos Tzadikkim Sha'ar HaChanifa; the twenty-fourth sha'ar

10Such as “lifnei iver lo sitein michshol”- Vayikra 19:14

11Beraishis 32:25

12Ibid.

13Beraishis 32:27

14Beraishis 35:10

15In Sefer Birkas Peretz

16Berachos 13a

17For example, in shemoneh esreh where we say, “...and the G-d of Yaakov” in the first beracha.

18The Steipler gives a couple of answers one which is that the name Yisroel means to rule. Therefore, this is not a name that Yaakov could always be referred to as because there are sometimes that Yaakov rules over Eisav but other times that Eisav rules over Yaakov.

19Beraishis 32:29

20The Kli Yakar actually says that yashar is an expression of seeing, but borrowing this compound word we could also take it to mean, as it does literally, straight one of Hashem.

21Beraishis 17:5 (Avram to Avraham) and Beraishis 17:15 (Sarai to Sarah)

22I think this explanation fits in nicely with the interesting wording of the passuk later when Hashem informs Yaakov of his name change (Beraishis 35:10). Hashem says, “Your name is Yaakov; your name shall no longer be called Yaakov, instead Yisroel shall be your name.” It is weird that Hashem first tells him that his name is Yaakov, unless that is still his ikur (main) name except that now a new level of Yisroel was achieved.
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