~
Thoughts on the Parsha ~
Parshas Vayeitzei
Truth Be Told
By: Daniel Listhaus
וְלָבָן הָלַךְ
לִגְזֹז אֶת צֹאנוֹ וַתִּגְנֹב רָחֵל אֶת הַתְּרָפִים אֲשֶׁר לְאָבִיהָ:
וַיִּגְנֹב
יַעֲקֹב אֶת לֵב לָבָן הָאֲרַמִּי עַל בְּלִי הִגִּיד לוֹ כִּי בֹרֵחַ הוּא
“Lavan had gone to
shear his sheep, and Rachel stole the teraphim that belonged to her
father. Yaakov deceived Lavan the Aramean by not telling him that he was
fleeing”
-Vayeitzei 31:19-20
In
this week's
parsha, we continue to follow Yaakov around and learn from
his
middos (traits)
and qualities. We were introduced to Yaakov
avinu
in
parshas Toldos as the “
ish tam yosheiv ohalim”
[1]
- the wholesome man who sat and learned Torah.
Rashi[2]
further
describes Yaakov as a person who was real – someone whose
actions and speech purely reflected who he was. After learning these things and
getting a glimpse of Yaakov's character, a few of the events in this week's
parsha
should come as a surprise to us.
When
Yaakov reached his destination near
Charan, the Torah relates that
Yaakov approached a well and saw that there was a crowd of shepherds standing
around doing nothing. Yaakov approached them and said, “Look, the day is still
long; it is not yet time to bring the livestock in; water the flock and go on
grazing”.
[3]
Rashi[4]
explains that Yaakov got upset at them and started giving them
mussar (rebuke),
“Look, the day is still long. If you are hired workers, then you have not yet
completed the day's labor; and if the animals are yours, nonetheless, it is not
yet time to bring in the livestock.”
Who
did Yaakov think he was? He was a total stranger in a foreign land. How could
Yaakov feel completely comfortable approaching the shepherds and telling them
that he caught them stealing? He seemingly walked brazenly right up to them and
told them that if they are paid workers, then, by doing nothing, they are
stealing from their employers; and that even if the animals are theirs, they
are still no better because they are wasting time – stealing from themselves.
Why did Yaakov think that it was his business to tell the shepherds that they were
no better than thieves?
Later
in the parsha, the Torah relates an additional two episodes during which
Yaakov seems to lose his temper. During his stay in Charan, Yaakov lived
in Lavan's house. His stay by his uncle was anything but pleasant. Lavan was a
selfish trickster with ulterior motives for everything he said and did. After
being tricked into marrying Leah and being deceived many times over his wages,
Hashem came to Yaakov and told him to return to Yitzchak's house. In response
to this, Yaakov called to his wives and started ranting:
“I
have noticed your father's disposition is not toward me as in earlier days; but
the G-d of my father was with me. Now you have known that with all my might I
worked for your father, yet your father mocked me and changed my wage ten
countings; but G-d did not permit him to harm me. If he would say, 'Speckled
one shall be your wages', then the entire flock bore speckled ones; and if he
would say, 'Ringed ones shall be your wages', then the entire flock bore ringed
ones. Thus G-d took away your father's livestock, and gave them to me. It
happened at the mating time of the flock that I raised my eyes and saw in a
dream – Behold! The he-goats that mounted the flock were ringed, speckled, and
striped. And an angel of G-d said to me in a dream, 'Yaakov!' And I said, 'Here
I am.' And he said, 'Raise your eyes, if you please, and see that all the
he-goats mounting the flocks are ringed, speckled, and striped, for I have seen
all that Lavan is doing to you. I am G-d of Beis-Keil where you anointed a
pillar, where you vowed a vow to Me. Now – arise, leave this land and return to
the land of your birth.'”
What
set Yaakov off to give this whole speech to Rachel and Leah? Was Yaakov
complaining? What purpose was he accomplishing? Let Yaakov just tell them to
pack their bags because Hashem told him to go back home. Why did Yaakov need to
give his own personal reason to leave, that he was fed up with Lavan's
dishonesty?
There
is yet another time when Yaakov seems to lose his cool. Yaakov and his family
had already been running away for a week when Lavan caught up to them. After
yelling at Yaakov for running away, Lavan accused him of stealing his idols.
Yaakov patiently let Lavan check through all of their belongings for his idols.
When Lavan finished rummaging through everything and did not find the idols,
Yaakov became furious at Lavan. Once again, Yaakov pulled out his speech and
starts screaming at Lavan:
“What
is my transgression? What is my sin, that you have pursued me? When you
rummaged through all my things, what did you find of all your household
objects? Set it here before my brethren and your brethren, and let them decide
between the two of us. These twenty years I have been with you. Your ewes and
she-goats did not miscarry, nor did I eat the rams of your flock. That which
was mangled I never brought to you – I would bear the loss, from my hand you
would exact it, stolen by day or stolen by night. This is how I was: By day
heat consumed me, and snow by night; my sleep drifted from my eyes. This is for
me twenty years in your household: I worked for you fourteen years for your two
daughters, and six years for your flocks; and you changed my wage ten countings.
Had not the G-d of my father – the G-d of Avraham and the Dread of Yitzchak –
been with me, you would surely have now sent me away empty handed. G-d saw my
wretchedness and the toil of my hands....”
Here
again, Yaakov seems to get all emotional and angry, pointing out Lavan's
faults, this time to his face. Why did Yaakov think it was necessary to do so?
Why not just keep quiet? Let Lavan have his fun poking around the tents and
then everyone will just peacefully be able to continue on their own ways?
Once
we understand who Yaakov was, then we will realize that these three events were
not cases of Yaakov losing control of his temper and acting out of character.
Rather, Yaakov's response during these events represented a true reflection of
Yaakov's persona and was very much a part of his character. Yaakov symbolized emes
(truth). He could not tolerate any resemblance of sheker (falsehood).
When Yaakov came and saw that the shepherds were either stealing payment from
their employers or wasting their own time, he could not just stand by and
watch. Similarly, his time spent with Lavan might have seemed normal to others,
but Yaakov recognized the lifestyle dependent on sheker. Again,
Yaakov could not just let Lavan continue on his merry way. As a representative
of emes, it was Yaakov's job to bring emes into the world and
point out any and all sheker. Therefore, it was indeed Yaakov's task to
give mussar to the shepherds as well as to point out to his wives, and
even Lavan himself, the sheker revolving around Lavan's life.
Now that we
have a better understanding of Yaakov
avinu, there is a difficulty that
must be dealt with. As aforementioned, Yaakov and his family ran away from
Lavan's house. The Torah describes that after Lavan caught up to them and
accused Yaakov of stealing his idols, Yaakov confidently cursed, “With whomever
you find your gods, he shall not live...”
Of course, however, as the Torah continues, “And Yaakov did not know that
Rachel had stolen them”.
Why is it, though, that Yaakov did not take this into consideration? Lavan had
just come to hunt them down because he had reason to believe that someone in
Yaakov's family had taken his gods. Obviously Lavan thought it was a reasonable
accusation to make, so what could make Yaakov so sure that indeed no one in his
family had taken them? Did it not enter Yaakov's mind that perhaps his wife had
taken the idols to stop her father from doing
avodah zarah (idol
worship)? Certainly someone as calculated and clear-minded as Yaakov could not
overlook such a possibility. So, why was he so confident to the point that he
cursed whoever had taken them?
Perhaps,
we could explain this as well based on our understanding of Yaakov. Yaakov
avinu,
being a representative of
emes, understood that upholding
emes
demands acting aggressively when it comes to fighting
sheker. Just as
Yaakov considered it his duty to approach the shepherds at the well and just as
he was quick to give his two cents to Lavan to let him know precisely what he
did wrong, so too Yaakov knew that if someone
in his family had taken the
avodah zarrah to prevent Lavan from
continuing, it would not have been done secretly. Instead, it would have been
taken care of the way his grandfather, Avraham, would have dealt with it: make
a complete mockery
and destroy them.
Perhaps this
is why when Lavan came and accused Yaakov of stealing his gods, Yaakov felt
confident that it was no one from his family. He probably thought something
along the lines of, “Hmm, destroying his avodah zarah would have been a
nice thing to do, but, oh well, too late. It could not have been anyone from my
household that took it, because certainly no one would take them to worship, so
the only reason to take them would be to try to stop Lavan from continuing; and
that cannot be because if that were the case then they would have, and should
have, made a whole big stink about it. The sheker should have been
confronted – grabbed and destroyed in front of his face.” Someone on the level
of Yaakov avinu who took the responsibility of bringing kiddush Hashem
into the world rightfully expected those fighting for the emes to do so
in the way he was taught. From the fact that such a situation did not occur,
Yaakov was sure that no one from his family had taken the idols.
However,
as we know, someone of Yaakov's house
did in fact steal the idols –
Yaakov's wife, Rachel. Unfortunately, as
Rashi
tells us, it was indeed Yaakov's curse which caused Rachel to die on the road.
What went wrong? If Yaakov's logic was correct, then it was indeed not probable
that Rachel took the idols. After all, as Yaakov assumed, if she had taken them
then she should have made a raucous about it. Yet, she
did steal them
and did so
without making a whole scene about it. Where was Yaakov's
error in calculation, which ultimately caused him to unknowingly curse his
wife?
In
order to understand this, let us focus on the small time frame from when Rachel
stole the
teraphim (Lavan's idols) to, just minutes later, their great
escape. The
passuk
states, “...and Rachel stole the
teraphim that belonged to her
father.”
Rashi
explains that Rachel did so because she intended to separate Lavan from
idolatry. The difficulty with this is why did she wait so long? She had been
with Yaakov living there for many years already. Why did Rachel suddenly wake
up and decide to stop her father from worshiping idols, only minutes before she
was to leave forever? Why did she not try to stop him from worshipping
avodah
zarrah years before?
In
parshas Chayei Sarah, the Torah describes that when Eliezer, the servant
of Avraham, came to Lavan's father's house to find a wife for Yitzchak, Lavan
came running out to meet him. He said to Eliezer, “Why should you stand outside
when I have cleared the house...?”
Rashi
comments that Lavan was hinting to Eliezer that he had cleared the house of
idols. Lavan was evidently smart enough to realize that someone from the house
of Avraham would not want anything to do with a house full of idols. Knowing
this about Lavan’s personality, it is safe to assume that when Yaakov came to
Lavan's house, Lavan once again cleared his idols from sight. While Yaakov was
living in Lavan's house, Lavan suppressed his temptation to serve idols. Perhaps
this is why Rachel never felt the need to approach Lavan during all the years
Yaakov was living with them, because he indeed had his idols temporarily out of
service.
However,
Rachel knew that as soon as Lavan would realize that Yaakov and his family
left, the first thing he would do would be to dust off his idols and start worshipping
them once again. Therefore, it was only at the last second that it was
necessary to dispose of Lavan's idols. Before then, Lavan had them stored away
because he did not want to take them out in the presence of Yaakov.
This
might explain why Rachel waited so long to confiscate Lavan's idols. However,
still, why was it that she did not make a public scene of it as Yaakov would
have expected?
There
is an extremely intriguing
passuk (verse)
that
the Torah
uses to describe Yaakov's escape: “And Yaakov deceived Lavan the Aramean by not
telling him that he was fleeing”.
There are two elements in this
passuk which are quite difficult to
understand. First, it is extremely bothersome that the Torah calls Yaakov a
deceiver
.
Second, the
passuk seems to take Yaakov to task for not telling Lavan
that he was running away. This makes no sense. If the Torah would be upset at
Yaakov for fleeing, we might understand. However, the Torah is not blaming
Yaakov for running away, instead the Torah is troubled over the fact that
Yaakov ran away without letting Lavan know. What kind of accusation is this? If
Yaakov did the right thing by running away, then, by definition, he did the
right thing by not telling Lavan. It is impossible to secretly run away from someone
if you tell him when you are leaving!
The
Ohr HaChayim
comes to address these issues and explains as follows. After Yaakov had amassed
wealth as a successful shepherd and had a family of eleven of the twelve
shevatim,
he asked Lavan, “Give me my wives and my children for whom I have worked for
you, and I will go.”
Rashi
there says that Yaakov told Lavan that he did not want to leave without first
asking permission. Yaakov said this to trick Lavan into thinking that he would
ask before leaving. This would give Yaakov the opportunity to leave whenever he
wanted, steering clear out of Lavan's way – who was expecting to be asked
permission first. For this, the Torah calls Yaakov a deceiver.
Yaakov
had many good reasons to run away from Lavan's house, and Hashem agreed to his
calculations. As a matter of fact, Hashem Himself actually told him to go back
to Yitzchak and Rivkah. However, to go so far as to first tell Lavan that he
would never think of leaving without asking permission, was a little too much.
Being on the incredibly high level that Yaakov was on, he should not have
transgressed even on this slight form of
geneivas da'as (deception) from
Lavan. Yaakov was expected to just run away, without playing mind games with
Lavan first. The tremendous level of greatness that Yaakov had achieved came
with the responsibility of being extra careful and judged
k'chut ha'sa'arah.
Had
Yaakov not asked the “fake permission” that time from Lavan then Rachel could
have said to Lavan, “At some point we are going to run away. This is obvious
and you have probably considered this already. When we do so, I know that you
will go right back to serving your avodah zarah.” Then, Rachel could
have given him a whole speech and gotten rid of the avodah zarah right
then and there. However, because Yaakov first told Lavan that he would ask
before leaving, Rachel was stuck. If they were not going to leave anyway until
Lavan's say-so, then it made sense for her to wait until Lavan granted them
permission in order rebuke him and take the idols. To do so before hand would
have been unreasonable because Lavan was not worshiping the idols while they
were still living in his house. Therefore, had Rachel in fact given Lavan the avodah
zarah mussar shmooze, then it would be a dead give-away that they were
planning on escaping, and that Yaakov had tricked him. It comes out that it was
because of the slight untruth that Yaakov told Lavan originally, that Rachel
was forced to play along.
Perhaps
this was the slight mistake which ultimately caused Yaakov to miscalculate when
it came to cursing the one who stole the teraphim (idols). When Rachel
went to take the teraphim she could not make a whole scene of it because
she had to play along with the delusion that Yaakov had fed to Lavan. Had she
given Lavan a whole speech while taking the idols, Lavan would have suspected
that Yaakov had tricked him and that he had been planning all along on leaving
without asking permission.
Although
Yaakov did not necessarily do anything wrong by originally tricking
Lavan, by doing so he ended up miscalculating. He figured that had anyone of
his household taken the idols, they would have made it into a whole mussar
shmuz. However, the fact that he failed to consider was that because of his
tricking Lavan, the rest of his logic became flawed. All it took was this minor
entry of trickery into Yaakov's head that resulted in such a grave outcome.
Yaakov
was the one who was picked by Hashem to be the one to bring
emes into
the world and fight the
sheker of Eisav and Lavan. Yaakov took this
responsibility to heart and did in fact uplift the world by being someone who
people looked at and realized what
emes is
.
However this came with a tremendous responsibility and when Yaakov fed Lavan with
his slight piece of untruthful information, it back-fired and flawed his own
logic-flow, ultimately causing him to unknowingly curse his wife.
Although
we are far from the tremendous levels of kedusha and middos tovos of
the avos, we could learn from Yaakov what it means to be someone who
fully represents emes, and at the same time recognize that slight
untruths are sheker; and although because of his level it backfired
harshly on Yaakov, we could hopefully see for ourselves how pure the middah of
emes must be kept and what it means to really stay away from sheker.
May Hashem help us achieve the highest levels of emes and help us stay
away from sheker so we could understand His ways and become closer to
Hashem.
